Porn industry struggling to keep sales up…

I’ve long predicted the next industry to march on Washington looking for a handout would be the home builders. Today, I was proven wrong by none other than Larry Flynt as he announced he wants $5B to bailout out the porn industry. It appears the porn industry needs their own dose of financial Viagra to ensure the world isn’t deprived of America’s favorite pastime (What? You thought it was baseball???).

As hard as it is to believe, people aren’t buying porn like they used to when times were good (funny how the need for food, shelter and other things get in the way of having a bit of fun). The sales trackers show that “XXX DVD sales are down 22% from a year ago”. I’ve done a bit of statistical analysis and produced the following graphical representation of what will happen without bailout money:

This chart doesn’t look like any fun at all! Notice how it starts out strong but they just can't keep it up when the dollars disappear. Porn has always been a growth industry and we cannot allow it to fail now…it’s too big to fail! We must press Congress to act now to approve this “stimulus” package or risk having to actually watch baseball, PBS or some other nonsense.

Once the government starts pumping money into the industry, we see how quickly things start moving in the right direction!

Notice how quickly we see reaction to the generous stimulus package. There may be some random periods where growth cannot be sustained but I’m confident the industry can consistently push ahead and penetrate new markets to gain revenue. They’ve been through hard times before and have always shown they can grow the business…almost on demand!

I agree with Larry, “The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly”. Of course, the government shouldn’t just hand out $5B in some “quickie” bailout without any oversight (would they really hand out billions without a plan? : ) These dollars need to be spent wisely or the porn market will just continue to be up and down with people repeatedly coming to Congress asking for more…more…more…money.

To ensure the proper controls are in place, I’m putting my name in the hat to regulate this bailout. Unlike some Washington bureaucrat, I pledge to be “hands-on” at all times and you’ll never catch me laying down on the job (I promise...you’ll never catch me : ) I’ll also closely inspect every project to ensure your money is being put into all the right places at exactly the right moment. This is key as we taxpayers can’t have them pulling out of a project too soon before we see the money. It’s a dirty job but I’m definitely up to the task!

Note: If I’ve offended you with this entry, it proves you’ve never read any of my other entries!