Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

My last post on the ShamWOW! / Slap Chop Guy just seemed incomplete so I did some more digging to see what other skeletons Vince has in his closet….because you know he does! Of course, maybe this was an unfortunate incidence of bad luck since he used all his good luck (and probably some of ours too!) getting rich selling crap to people who've never heard of microfiber or a chef's knife.

Beyond telling us all how much we’ll “love his nuts” and say “Sham-WOW!” every time we use his towel, Vince also has a religious side as he took a course on Personal Values and Integrity through the Church of Scientology back in 1991. Maybe they should have offered a course on “Negotiation/Money Management” as no one pays $1000 for “straight sex” from a street walker….unless you’re planning to do her 10 times! If Vince could pull that off in a single night then “ShamWOW” indeed!

The other obvious question is why would anyone kiss a prostitute on the mouth (or anywhere else)….especially at the END of the evening? Odds are Vince was NOT her first customer of the evening which ups the “EWWW Factor” to a whole new level. Maybe for the $1000 he wanted the “girlfriend” experience? Of course, if he wanted the girlfriend experience then he'd have to buy an expensive dinner and still wouldn't get laid. Who knows but I’m sure his Mother will think twice next time he leans in to kiss her goodbye.

In my original draft for the other post, I included a line about how Vince should’ve used the $1000 for self-defense classes at the YMCA (I took the line out of the original post as it didn’t “fit”) but I must publicly take back my posted comment about him “flailing his girl-y man arms” as he landed some solid shots. I found the following pictures on TMZ and will warn you now they’re not pretty:


Ouch! You have to hit someone incredibly hard (in the center of the nose) to blacken both eyes...and rupture the vessels in the eyes.

Close-up view of the damage. The scabby thing on the side of her mouth looks like it's been there a while so let's ratchet up the EWWW Factor another notch.

Seems when Vince got finished with her face he went for a body shot.

Seriously, this seems very excessive to get her to release his tongue given he could've accomplished that by simply pressing his thumb in the space above her collarbone in the soft tissue of the neck....the mouth will open with only moderate pressure since you can't breath. (If you choose to test this out...please do NOT press with force as you can seriously injure yourself and I can't afford to lose any readers).

The shot to her face was an overhand right and would've been very difficult to land if she was inches from his face...maybe a parting shot once he was free? Besides, striking her in the face while she was biting his tongue would only increase the risk of her biting all the way through. Trust me, no man wants a women (or anyone else) to "bite through" anything attached to his body.

Only these two know what really happened but one thing is for sure...his so-called career is over and her's is just getting started. Is that Larry Flynt calling???

Author's Note: The subject of violence against women is very serious and no part of this entry should be construed as justification (or defense of) inflicting injuries of this severity on anyone regardless of her chosen profession.