I’d love to see you, but…

Apology: It’s amazing how taking a few days off from the blog quickly turned into months. I’d planned to return much sooner but life got in the way and the next thing I know it’s March 2010. I feel a bit guilty for taking so much time away and neglecting all three of my “followers” who probably expected more out of me (but have known me so long they probably didn’t). If I feel the need to slack again then maybe I should start a support group for other slacking bloggers…“Hi…I’m Esc. It’s been 72 days since my last entry and I’m a loser for not posting more.” But the time away was appreciated as my life needed something new and now I’m back!

No one likes to fail…let’s face it; it’s always a bit personal even when people say it isn’t. Nowhere is failure more personal than in a relationship. At Christmas, I was in the beginning stages of a new relationship with a very nice girl we’ll call MM. Fast forward 58 days and she’s just another footnote in my dating history.

How did this happen? Very simple….too many sentences started with “I’d love to see you, but…” We all know everything after "but" is bullsh*t and a cop out but apparently she never got the memo. Here are some real-life examples of the reasons she couldn’t see me during the week (but she NEVER turned down the Sat night invitation to dinner and the theater):

• I’d love to see you, but I’m meeting my girl friends for dinner.
• I’d love to see you, but I have Spades League that night.
• I’d love to see you, but I want to try out this new yoga studio that night.
• I’d love to see you, but I’m having dinner with my new friend from the apt building that night.
• I’d love to see you, but I’m playing in my Skee-Ball league that night.

Skee-Ball? Seriously, what kind of person chooses a kid’s game over spending time with the person they supposedly “really like and want to spend time with”? More to the point, what kind of man would put up with this kind of treatment? Not Esc! She moved to double secret probation after the second instance and I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d be saying “See you later…much later.”

I’m far from cheap and typically spare no expense in my dating life to ensure a wonderful evening for all. This makes me super in-tune when my generosity is being exploited and that’s something I will never tolerate. In a rare move, I gave her a chance to redeem herself but that ended in utter and complete failure so it was time to pull the cord.

There is a proper way to end a relationship and timing is critical to success. My time ended up on the most unfortunate day (right before Valentine’s Day) but I knew it was over so no sense in dragging out the inevitable. I took her to the theater (I already had tickets from weeks before) and then out for post-production coffee. She had a brief moment of redemption but then proceeded to fail miserably at the French bistro.

As we sipped coffee, a guy friend (hers…not mine) walked up and started to talk to her. Common courtesy says first meetings warrant introductions but she simply went on and on while I sat there. I’m not the jealous type (I totally don’t care…If a woman wants someone else then just leave). And I definitely had nothing to fear from this fool if I was. He stood there with his brand new copy of “A Brief History in Time” by Stephan Hawking wearing non-prescription glasses in an attempt to look educated and cultured. I immediately thought of the Pro-V superstar from days past and how this poor guy had no clue how every single woman who passed his table was going to see through his thinly veiled attempt to convince them he was worthy of their time. All he needed to be a complete fraud was a beret and fake French accent.

After a few minutes, he introduced himself and made the “I’m not trying to take your girl” kind of statements (like how he knew her, etc.) which made no difference to me as I would have been ecstatic to hand her off since the Bistro put me 8 miles closer to my house (and I had no interest in driving the 8 back to drop her off). It was in that moment that I realized she wasn’t exploiting me or trying to shine me on but was totally clueless about the entire situation.

She’d made a statement that night (earlier in the evening before the Physics Fraud made his grand appearance) about how she was used to being rejected. The comment struck me immediately because I’d done everything in my power to make her feel wanted but it was HER who was rejecting every man who attempted to be part of her life. Its human nature to love and want to be loved but she’d spent so much time building walls to protect herself that she forgot to include a door.

In the end, it came down to two people on different paths going in opposite directions (never to end in the same place). If she called me today to start again, I’d have to say “I’d love to see you, but…”