One of my readers sent me an email today highlighting a problem that's become all too common in the workplace these days. I know Facebook and Twitter have made it socially acceptable to inundate the masses with the most mundane moments of your life but people are going way too far and it has to stop.
It seems my friend's co-worker (we’ll call him Bucky) was determined to provide a “status update” to the group although they wanted no part of it. Let’s set the stage by saying Bucky is the consummate emasculated male yet he preens like a peacock oblivious to his gelding. Not since Frat Boy have I seen such a blatant case of “people aren’t laughing at me…they are just jealous of my greatness” syndrome. When I meet people like this I crack a subtle smile….let the games begin!
Bucky was regaling all with details of his birthday weekend with his wife and their romantic interlude at a slightly above average business hotel. Of all the choices in lodgings, a business hotel is one step above getting a room at a Residence Inn (hey, that kitchenette might come in handy if you get hungry afterwards) and definitely NOT what you select if romance is on the agenda. The city has plenty of pretty nice places to take a date (or your wife…whoever is free for the night).
During the course of his verbal assault, he broke the unspoken rule…Too Much Information (TMI). No one wants to hear about a co-workers current illness, surgery, sexual conquest, STD, etc. but these people just start heading down the road with a smile on their face. Bucky shared with the group his disappointment the business class room was lacking in reflective surfaces known as mirrors. It seems this put a serious damper on his evening (Any bets the serious damper on the evening for his wife was his presence?). At least one of the many disappointments of the evening could have been avoided if he’d thought ahead and had this handy, little invention!
It promises the ability to “enjoy exciting reflections you’ve never seen before” which, according to the photo, is the ability to see yourself alone on the bed. There are few things I really want to watch myself do and none of them involve using a mirror-like reflective device attached to the ceiling. I’m still trying to figure how it stays on the ceiling since it appears to be hovering in the photo. Maybe I should be learning those ridiculous magic tricks to pick up girls…seems I’ll need the skill to make my mirror-like reflective device hover above the bed.
At $14.95, it’s a “must have”…especially since it comes with its own mail tube for easy transport. Too bad they stopped selling this back in 1977 as it’s a deal at twice the price! If I’d only had the foresight at age 8 to pick a couple of these up then I’d be set.
All hope is not lost as a quick search of the Internet brought the modern day equivalent of the portable mirror-like reflective device. It seems times have changed and ceiling mirrors have gone upscale complete with slick websites trying to make you think having a mirror on your ceiling is actually cool. I especially like the “smoke detector” installation mount (pure genius!) so people don’t know you’re a freak. Wish I’d known before I drilled the holes in my ceiling for the trapeze…is that TMI?
Anyway, I was on-board until I saw the price…$399! Good Lord, for $399 it better guarantee my view isn’t the ability to see myself alone on the bed…I get that for free. TMI?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
And then there was one…
(Sorry for the delay in posting but had to deal with some of life’s little complications. Since none of them involve anything close to the words “won the lottery” or “you have to do my hot friend too” I’m not going to bother explaining)
Friendship…The ability to share a common interest(s) with others and the sense of connection make us all feel a bit better about our own existence and like we’re not alone in the world. I’ve always had issues with making new friends partly because I’m a bit distrusting but mainly because most people don’t value friendship the way I do…it’s become a disposable commodity of convenience for most.
When I first meet someone, I know immediately if he/she will get added to the list as a “friend”. Maybe I’m just a good judge of character or have a knack for seeing the true essence of people but I doubt it…most probable answer is the unexplainable forces of attraction in the universe that allow “like to find like”. No matter the reason; it’s an almost insurmountable task to be chosen but the select few make the grade (even though I doubt any of them really know how rare it is to be added to my list of friends).
Most of my friends have been gained through contract at the office since I used to spend a great deal of time working from the lowest floors of the highest towers of the XYZ Corporation. The work wasn’t the greatest but the people were and it made for moments of humor and levity during the often stressful times of my existence. My friends were the people who pulled me away from the less important work tasks and on to the things in life that really mattered such as an extended lunch with great conversation. The prospect of having lunch with the crew was often the sole reason for my appearance at the office on many occasions…OK, virtually every occasion!
The crew was always ready for a good time but like all good things, it couldn’t last…EP and The Dietz moved to Seattle, KB-H moved to the UK and The Commish was dealt an undeserved hand by lesser men. In the end, it was down to me and GP to uphold the lunch tradition but change was lurking in the shadows. GP made it official with an upcoming move to DC…and then there was one.
I’m incredibly happy for all my friends that life has given them new adventures (even though it means I now have to go and audition new people down on GWC 3 for lunch buddies….maybe Ali will have pity and let me hang with them?) and I’m still friends with each and every one of them. Time and distance doesn’t change friendship as inclusion on the list means inclusion for life…for better or worse.
To all my friends, I raise my glass and say “Cheers” until we all meet again.
Friendship…The ability to share a common interest(s) with others and the sense of connection make us all feel a bit better about our own existence and like we’re not alone in the world. I’ve always had issues with making new friends partly because I’m a bit distrusting but mainly because most people don’t value friendship the way I do…it’s become a disposable commodity of convenience for most.
When I first meet someone, I know immediately if he/she will get added to the list as a “friend”. Maybe I’m just a good judge of character or have a knack for seeing the true essence of people but I doubt it…most probable answer is the unexplainable forces of attraction in the universe that allow “like to find like”. No matter the reason; it’s an almost insurmountable task to be chosen but the select few make the grade (even though I doubt any of them really know how rare it is to be added to my list of friends).
Most of my friends have been gained through contract at the office since I used to spend a great deal of time working from the lowest floors of the highest towers of the XYZ Corporation. The work wasn’t the greatest but the people were and it made for moments of humor and levity during the often stressful times of my existence. My friends were the people who pulled me away from the less important work tasks and on to the things in life that really mattered such as an extended lunch with great conversation. The prospect of having lunch with the crew was often the sole reason for my appearance at the office on many occasions…OK, virtually every occasion!
The crew was always ready for a good time but like all good things, it couldn’t last…EP and The Dietz moved to Seattle, KB-H moved to the UK and The Commish was dealt an undeserved hand by lesser men. In the end, it was down to me and GP to uphold the lunch tradition but change was lurking in the shadows. GP made it official with an upcoming move to DC…and then there was one.
I’m incredibly happy for all my friends that life has given them new adventures (even though it means I now have to go and audition new people down on GWC 3 for lunch buddies….maybe Ali will have pity and let me hang with them?) and I’m still friends with each and every one of them. Time and distance doesn’t change friendship as inclusion on the list means inclusion for life…for better or worse.
To all my friends, I raise my glass and say “Cheers” until we all meet again.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I’m NOT sorry…
I’d planned to write some tame entry about graphology (Click here if you want to read the article) but after witnessing an unforgivable transgression against all manhood my mind was made up…it’s time to talk about the “Sorry for everything” syndrome which seems to be striking spineless men everywhere.
You’ve seen it before when some chump is apologizing to his girlfriend/wife for every single thing he does/says/doesn’t do/etc. even though he’s done nothing wrong…much less anything worthy of an apology. Every time I just want to walk up to this chump and say “Do you at least get to visit your manhood?” There’s no excuse for this behavior and no real man would tolerate it for even a second…especially from his significant other!
I’m not saying you should never apologize as some things merit a true and sincere apology such as telling your significant other her dress does make her look fat, spending your anniversary gift money at the strip club, etc. We (men), however, do NOT need to be apologizing for saying we don’t want to go shopping or looking at other women….it’s not natural and quite frankly, a crime against the rest of us who are true men.
We (my generation) are a generation raised by women which filled our minds with all the irrational bullsh*t and sensitivity nonsense but it had other, unintended side effects such guilt over meaningless things, a need to always be validated by word and action…in other words, it was an attempt to make us women. In the golden age, men acted like men and we didn’t apologize for acting as such. The time has come for all men to recapture this sense of self and end the “Sorry for everything” syndrome once and for all.
In today’s example, I was out at a local shopping plaza running a few errands when I spot the couple. A normal, average couple but I could tell he was broken from a mile away (guys know this look…the look of a man who just sleep walks through the days because he thinks he can’t do better and this is all life has to offer). He committed the unspeakable crime of not getting a cart for her purchases so he was dressed down (in front of other self-respecting men) for this transgression. His response? “I’m sorry….I’ll go get a cart”. WTF…are those your fake testicles hanging from the trailer hitch?????
The people in earshot just looked on while the other whipped men just starred at the ground in silent appreciation it wasn’t them…this time. I stared him dead in the eyes with a look of disdain reserved only for the lowest of the low. How could he let her do this without a word of protest? Was it to avoid creating a scene? Maybe it was fear of being “cut off”?
If he’s afraid she’ll revoke his access to the golden triangle then I’ve got some really bad news for him…she’d sleep with someone else in a second if he exhibited the traits of a real man! She’s with him because he’s been broken (i.e. he’s not going anywhere so he’s “safe” and available when SHE wants him) but she’d cheat in a second with a man who took control and, quite frankly, acted like a man! The chump gets exactly what he deserves for not taking control of the situation and re-introducing her to the man he should (and probably used to) be.
Being a man means something different to everyone but to me it means taking care of the people you love, being able to fix/build anything, standing up for what matters (even if it means getting your ass kicked), doing the right thing even if it’s not popular and most importantly, being true to yourself at all times. I’ve always adhered to these principles and maybe I’m a dinosaur, but I believe men need to be strong and take charge. This whole belief that men need to be compliant to their women is nonsense and something for the metrosexual man…which offends me to the see the word “man” even close to the word metrosexual.
To apologize for living by the man code is absurd and I, for one, will never apologize for anything as meaningless as not getting a cart…I’ll save my apologies for something worthy of an apology. You might condemn this entry as sexist, chauvinist, etc. and to that I say “I’m a man and damn proud of it!”….and NO, I’m not sorry!
You’ve seen it before when some chump is apologizing to his girlfriend/wife for every single thing he does/says/doesn’t do/etc. even though he’s done nothing wrong…much less anything worthy of an apology. Every time I just want to walk up to this chump and say “Do you at least get to visit your manhood?” There’s no excuse for this behavior and no real man would tolerate it for even a second…especially from his significant other!
I’m not saying you should never apologize as some things merit a true and sincere apology such as telling your significant other her dress does make her look fat, spending your anniversary gift money at the strip club, etc. We (men), however, do NOT need to be apologizing for saying we don’t want to go shopping or looking at other women….it’s not natural and quite frankly, a crime against the rest of us who are true men.
We (my generation) are a generation raised by women which filled our minds with all the irrational bullsh*t and sensitivity nonsense but it had other, unintended side effects such guilt over meaningless things, a need to always be validated by word and action…in other words, it was an attempt to make us women. In the golden age, men acted like men and we didn’t apologize for acting as such. The time has come for all men to recapture this sense of self and end the “Sorry for everything” syndrome once and for all.
In today’s example, I was out at a local shopping plaza running a few errands when I spot the couple. A normal, average couple but I could tell he was broken from a mile away (guys know this look…the look of a man who just sleep walks through the days because he thinks he can’t do better and this is all life has to offer). He committed the unspeakable crime of not getting a cart for her purchases so he was dressed down (in front of other self-respecting men) for this transgression. His response? “I’m sorry….I’ll go get a cart”. WTF…are those your fake testicles hanging from the trailer hitch?????
The people in earshot just looked on while the other whipped men just starred at the ground in silent appreciation it wasn’t them…this time. I stared him dead in the eyes with a look of disdain reserved only for the lowest of the low. How could he let her do this without a word of protest? Was it to avoid creating a scene? Maybe it was fear of being “cut off”?
If he’s afraid she’ll revoke his access to the golden triangle then I’ve got some really bad news for him…she’d sleep with someone else in a second if he exhibited the traits of a real man! She’s with him because he’s been broken (i.e. he’s not going anywhere so he’s “safe” and available when SHE wants him) but she’d cheat in a second with a man who took control and, quite frankly, acted like a man! The chump gets exactly what he deserves for not taking control of the situation and re-introducing her to the man he should (and probably used to) be.
Being a man means something different to everyone but to me it means taking care of the people you love, being able to fix/build anything, standing up for what matters (even if it means getting your ass kicked), doing the right thing even if it’s not popular and most importantly, being true to yourself at all times. I’ve always adhered to these principles and maybe I’m a dinosaur, but I believe men need to be strong and take charge. This whole belief that men need to be compliant to their women is nonsense and something for the metrosexual man…which offends me to the see the word “man” even close to the word metrosexual.
To apologize for living by the man code is absurd and I, for one, will never apologize for anything as meaningless as not getting a cart…I’ll save my apologies for something worthy of an apology. You might condemn this entry as sexist, chauvinist, etc. and to that I say “I’m a man and damn proud of it!”….and NO, I’m not sorry!
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