Someone once told me, "The only people who have a problem with tattoos are people who don’t have one”. I’ve got no problem with them but I do have a problem with BAD tattoos! Be it bad choices in art (anything involving Nintendo, Star Wars or science fiction will ALWAYS be a bad choice) or poor execution in the actual inking (make sure the guy slinging ink isn’t as drunk as you), the consequences are a permanent reminder of a bad decision.
When I was but a small lad growing up in (town name withheld), I saw my first tattoo up close and personal and the experience changed my life. My friend Frank’s grandfather had been all over the world with the Navy…back when being in the Navy was more like being a pirate than a regular job. He was hardcore (he got his ear pierced the first time he crossed the equator and wore a gold hoop….this was YEARS before men wore earrings!) and looked like he’d kick your a** if you stared at him too long. On one of his voyages to somewhere in the South Pacific, he’d gotten a tattoo of a topless hula girl on his forearm but the ink had blurred over the years so you really had to look close to see anything outside of an outline. I was 12 years old and it was a topless girl so I looked….really close! One day he noticed my interest in the ink and we had the following conversation:
Him: “You like my hula girl?”
Esc: “Ahhh….I guess”
Him: “Wanna see her dance?”
Esc: “Uh….OK”
At that moment, he proceeded to shake his arm and the loose skin swayed back and forth so it appeared she was dancing. I was overcome by a wave of absolute revulsion and my psyche was scarred forever. To this day, I can still see her “dance”. It was at that point I decided to never get a tattoo…and I still don’t have any!
You may be thinking that bad tattoos only happen to aged sailors or people who can’t afford to get good ink. Not so…even celebrities get BAD tattoos! Some of these are just plain awful choices in body art and it makes me question what they were thinking when they sat in the chair and said, “Ink it…” If I had the cash of any of these people, my next action after seeing myself in this gallery would be to call a qualified professional skilled in tattoo removal. Of course, it’s expensive to have a tattoo removed and quite painful so two more reason yours truly is still on the sideline.
Of course, there is alternative in the works for those of us with commitment issues…it’s an ink that dissolves! How cool is this concept…you get your art without the commitment. Now you can get the name of your special someone (OK…special right now) inked onto your body with no concern for permanence. In the past, tattooing someone’s name was the surest and quickest way to see a relationship end! You were stuck with their name on your body so you had to explain it to the next girl (and no women wants to look up at you during the “O” moment and see your ex’s name) or only date women with the same name as your ex. The latter would seriously limit choices if you don’t take the necessary precautions.
Some years ago, I saw a guy who had the names of three women tattooed on his arm and it seemed to work for him. The names were Tiffany, Crystal and Amber…all popular stripper stage names! He looked like the kind of guy who’d frequent a very low class of strip joints so he probably had no issues convincing the current Tiffany he’d tattooed her name on his arm just to meet her. It’s a move of pure genius…if you like to date strippers.
On top of my commitment issues (tattoos only : ), I’m also not down with the whole needle thing…I’ve seen my fair share of needles so not voluntarily offering up any part of my body for a tattoo. For those of us with all these issues who still want a tattoo, I give you the no commit tattoo! Now you can have it all and still wear short sleeves to the company picnic. So, next time you see Esc and I’ve got the coolest Japanese Koi sleeve you’ve ever seen, don’t think I’ve moved to new level of cool…know that I’m still the same old Esc you’ve always made fun of at every opportunity. John Mayer scored Jennifer Aniston with his cool Koi sleeve but is that really an accomplishment? She slept with the dude from the Chili Peppers so not thinking a cool tat (or quality dentistry) is really high on her list of criteria.
I’ve got no issue with other people getting good tattoos (Greg’s work is first class…but I was a bit disturbed by the amount of butt cheek work on guys) but it’s just not for me. I’m so random…could never settle on anything. I do appreciate the art form and kudos to my friends who have ink (Scott, Johnnie G and GP)…no commitment issues with these guys!
I also think tattoos on girls can be cool if done tastefully and discrete. I’ve never dated a woman with ink but would be open to the experience…as long as it not on her forehead (especially if the word “Crazy” is tattooed there)! Of course, if “Crazy” was tattooed on her forehead then I’d know a lot sooner than usual! : )
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
How'd you meet again?
It happened again last night…two nights in a row. No, I didn’t get lucky (If that was the case I’d probably start believing in Santa again : ) I had a fleeting moment of loneliness and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because of the holidays? Nope! This is the absolute BEST time to be single! You never have to attend parties for your significant other’s annoying co-workers/friends, no dealing with the inevitable fistfights/arguments at the hillbilly family Christmas when they break out the moonshine (true story…) and never have to spend too much money on a gift he/she will never appreciate/use/etc. Being single at Christmas is about as perfect as can be but it’s the other 364 days that seem to be the challenge.
Research shows more people sign up for online dating in January than any other month of the year. I went this route a long time ago and found the whole experience humorous, humiliating, frustrating, annoying and ultimately, futile. The whole debacle starts with the profile…No matter what you put in there it always comes off like an ad for a used car.
“Low mileage, action-adventure guy with all working parts seeks compatible, like–minded female. Upgraded options included as well as plenty of storage space for additional baggage. Don’t pay full price for a new model when this gently used version is available right now and priced to move”.
The situation gets exponentially more comical after the dreaded profile is posted so future entries may be dedicated to some of my better moments. My views on Internet dating are well documented so what’s left for those of us not willing to be reduced to a “used person” ad on match.com?
The obvious first choice is a bar. Nothing makes you feel old like walking into a bar and immediately thinking it’s too smoky/loud/whatever…strike one. If you go by yourself, add another strike as you have virtually no chance of working yourself into any groups so prepare to stand off to the side sipping your over-priced drink. You won’t be ignored…oh no, EVERY single, 20-something, “woo” girl will be asking you to buy her a drink. Strike three if you buy her drinks… I don’t buy drinks for girls I’ve just met (not because I’m cheap but because it’s a suckers bet). Besides, what kind of relationship could you have with a woman who flashes strangers to get a $3 beer? If she’ll do that for a $3 beer then you really have to question what she’d do for a big money prize like dinner at Denney’s (Hey baby, I’ve got a coupon for the Grand Slam Breakfast!). She may have no self-respect but I feel a bit better knowing I still have some left.
Next stop, the old classic…the gym! You’re in an environment where you’ve got an ample supply of athletic women to choose from so how can this be a bad thing? For starters, most people want to be left alone when they work out and it’s especially true of women. Of course, you’ll get somewhere if you’re handsome, ripped and have a cool accent but let’s face reality; I tip the scale at 140 lbs (with wet hair) and am firmly in the average looking category so not much potential in a place where appearance reigns supreme. Then there's the "jock factor"...nothing knocks you out of contention like being told, “Hey, there’s a string hanging off your shirt” and then grabbing my arm! It’s not that I’m out of shape…it’s the lighting and all the mirrors conspiring to make me look like an anorexic version of Casper. Besides, for all the women there to pick up one of those muscle bound knuckleheads, I’ve got some bad news…they like guys too! Since genetics has doomed to me be 140 lbs forever, I decided to hit up a place where the playing field is a bit more level.
I’ve been told the trick to meeting educated women is to hang out in a bookstore. Supposedly, everyone in a bookstore on a Saturday night understands the dynamic (i.e. it’s an intellectual meet market!) so stake out a place in your favorite section and wait for the women. This actually sounded like a good idea until I tried it (kind of like holding a lit bottle rocket or being shot out of a cannon). My fatal flaw is I’m too practical most of the time. I started out in the computer book section as I needed to solve a problem for work so decided to kill two birds with one stone. Number of women in the computer book section…exactly ZERO. I quickly discovered computer books are the most effective form of birth control on the face of the planet as no woman would even approach the “Bermuda Triangle of Books”. I think the guy researching herpes two aisles over actually met a girl! By this point, I’d wasted an hour and wanted to be somewhere else…anywhere but there. Off to get coffee…and a new identity.
One of the online articles talked about how easy it was to meet girls at the coffee shop and how all guys should make it one of their “prime” places. I staked out my table at the Dilworth Coffee Shop and waited for the endless parade of available women looking for Mr. Nearly Perfect. The place was full of beatnik guys so my presence was immediately known….I guess it was the fact I was clean shaven, had bathed in the last 8 hours and actually had a job that set me apart. The few single women who came in were usually doing it for their lazy, beatnik boyfriends who couldn’t be bothered to actually get out of her car to get their own coffee. There was some random eye contact but they all seemed taken aback at the sight of me…maybe it was the uncontrollable twitching or speaking at a 100 mph from the three, fully caffeinated, grande whatever’s. The few who actually braved the caffeine fueled, speed speaking seemed a bit too “earthy” for my taste…I’m a strong advocate of bathing and the occasional shave. I’m OK with finding Bigfoot but just not OK with waking up next to her!
At the bottom of the list is the place of last resort…the grocery store. I’ve never meet girls at the supermarket…Maybe it’s because my cart usually consists of a bunch of vegetables, soy protein and cinnamon rolls (who can resist the ooey, gooey goodness?) so there aren’t many conversation starters in my basket. I once bumped carts with an attractive girl and tried to start a conversation with her. We made eye contact (she smiled so decided to take the chance) but, as I was scanning her cart, I missed the sudden look of horror on her face…I caught up pretty quickly when I noticed the box of tampons sitting (prominently) on top of the toilet paper. She was probably a very nice girl but who wants to tell the story of how we met over a box of feminine hygiene products to anyone? I learned two things after that experience…the first is to put personal items way down in the cart to avoid awkward moments and the second is to always have a clever/funny saying handy to buy time to make a graceful exit!
It’s hard enough to find places to meet decent people so if you have any suggestions, please post them in the comments section and I’ll try it out (and post the outcome ; )
Research shows more people sign up for online dating in January than any other month of the year. I went this route a long time ago and found the whole experience humorous, humiliating, frustrating, annoying and ultimately, futile. The whole debacle starts with the profile…No matter what you put in there it always comes off like an ad for a used car.
“Low mileage, action-adventure guy with all working parts seeks compatible, like–minded female. Upgraded options included as well as plenty of storage space for additional baggage. Don’t pay full price for a new model when this gently used version is available right now and priced to move”.
The situation gets exponentially more comical after the dreaded profile is posted so future entries may be dedicated to some of my better moments. My views on Internet dating are well documented so what’s left for those of us not willing to be reduced to a “used person” ad on match.com?
The obvious first choice is a bar. Nothing makes you feel old like walking into a bar and immediately thinking it’s too smoky/loud/whatever…strike one. If you go by yourself, add another strike as you have virtually no chance of working yourself into any groups so prepare to stand off to the side sipping your over-priced drink. You won’t be ignored…oh no, EVERY single, 20-something, “woo” girl will be asking you to buy her a drink. Strike three if you buy her drinks… I don’t buy drinks for girls I’ve just met (not because I’m cheap but because it’s a suckers bet). Besides, what kind of relationship could you have with a woman who flashes strangers to get a $3 beer? If she’ll do that for a $3 beer then you really have to question what she’d do for a big money prize like dinner at Denney’s (Hey baby, I’ve got a coupon for the Grand Slam Breakfast!). She may have no self-respect but I feel a bit better knowing I still have some left.
Next stop, the old classic…the gym! You’re in an environment where you’ve got an ample supply of athletic women to choose from so how can this be a bad thing? For starters, most people want to be left alone when they work out and it’s especially true of women. Of course, you’ll get somewhere if you’re handsome, ripped and have a cool accent but let’s face reality; I tip the scale at 140 lbs (with wet hair) and am firmly in the average looking category so not much potential in a place where appearance reigns supreme. Then there's the "jock factor"...nothing knocks you out of contention like being told, “Hey, there’s a string hanging off your shirt” and then grabbing my arm! It’s not that I’m out of shape…it’s the lighting and all the mirrors conspiring to make me look like an anorexic version of Casper. Besides, for all the women there to pick up one of those muscle bound knuckleheads, I’ve got some bad news…they like guys too! Since genetics has doomed to me be 140 lbs forever, I decided to hit up a place where the playing field is a bit more level.
I’ve been told the trick to meeting educated women is to hang out in a bookstore. Supposedly, everyone in a bookstore on a Saturday night understands the dynamic (i.e. it’s an intellectual meet market!) so stake out a place in your favorite section and wait for the women. This actually sounded like a good idea until I tried it (kind of like holding a lit bottle rocket or being shot out of a cannon). My fatal flaw is I’m too practical most of the time. I started out in the computer book section as I needed to solve a problem for work so decided to kill two birds with one stone. Number of women in the computer book section…exactly ZERO. I quickly discovered computer books are the most effective form of birth control on the face of the planet as no woman would even approach the “Bermuda Triangle of Books”. I think the guy researching herpes two aisles over actually met a girl! By this point, I’d wasted an hour and wanted to be somewhere else…anywhere but there. Off to get coffee…and a new identity.
One of the online articles talked about how easy it was to meet girls at the coffee shop and how all guys should make it one of their “prime” places. I staked out my table at the Dilworth Coffee Shop and waited for the endless parade of available women looking for Mr. Nearly Perfect. The place was full of beatnik guys so my presence was immediately known….I guess it was the fact I was clean shaven, had bathed in the last 8 hours and actually had a job that set me apart. The few single women who came in were usually doing it for their lazy, beatnik boyfriends who couldn’t be bothered to actually get out of her car to get their own coffee. There was some random eye contact but they all seemed taken aback at the sight of me…maybe it was the uncontrollable twitching or speaking at a 100 mph from the three, fully caffeinated, grande whatever’s. The few who actually braved the caffeine fueled, speed speaking seemed a bit too “earthy” for my taste…I’m a strong advocate of bathing and the occasional shave. I’m OK with finding Bigfoot but just not OK with waking up next to her!
At the bottom of the list is the place of last resort…the grocery store. I’ve never meet girls at the supermarket…Maybe it’s because my cart usually consists of a bunch of vegetables, soy protein and cinnamon rolls (who can resist the ooey, gooey goodness?) so there aren’t many conversation starters in my basket. I once bumped carts with an attractive girl and tried to start a conversation with her. We made eye contact (she smiled so decided to take the chance) but, as I was scanning her cart, I missed the sudden look of horror on her face…I caught up pretty quickly when I noticed the box of tampons sitting (prominently) on top of the toilet paper. She was probably a very nice girl but who wants to tell the story of how we met over a box of feminine hygiene products to anyone? I learned two things after that experience…the first is to put personal items way down in the cart to avoid awkward moments and the second is to always have a clever/funny saying handy to buy time to make a graceful exit!
It’s hard enough to find places to meet decent people so if you have any suggestions, please post them in the comments section and I’ll try it out (and post the outcome ; )
Monday, December 22, 2008
Letting Go...
(To start at the beginning of the series, check out "Fake It..." )
While I’m still firmly planted in Phase Two, the next chapter is already starting to take shape…The third phase appears to be called “Letting go”.
In order to let things go, you’ve got to take inventory of your life to determine what should stay and what should go…I had a truly stupid amount of unnecessary “baggage” so housekeeping would be working mandatory overtime. It was embarrassing to think I’d wasted time and energy carrying this junk as some of it happened so long ago I couldn’t remember all the details…but I was still holding on to it! It reminded me of a story…
“Two monks were walking along a river and they came up a woman who needed to cross but couldn’t because of the rushing water. One of the monks agreed to carry the woman across the river on his back. Upon reaching the other side, the woman thanked the monk and went on her way.
The two monks continued down the path in silence until the first monk commented, “Why did you carry that woman when you knew it violated your sacred vows?”
The second monk replied, “Because it was the right thing to do”
“It was wrong and you shouldn’t have” stated the first monk.
For the next few miles, the first monk kept talking about the woman.
The second monk stopped and said, “I left her at the banks of the river…why do you continue to carry her?”
(Wow! Can I botch a storyline or what? !?!? You get the point...)
Lessons I’ve learned:
If you can’t change something and it causes you pain, why carry it forward? Let it go…
If you see others struggling with challenges, you are obligated to help them…it’s the right thing to do
Letting go means forgiving others who have wronged you but, more importantly, it means forgiving yourself
Normally, I don’t write about life projects in progress (or anything this close to New Age psychobabble) but I needed to get it out of my system.
The "black cloud" followed me for too many years and I see it over several of my friends who are experiencing difficult life challenges. I’m no role model (my next series of entries will dispel any myths of that ever being true) but this experiment has been positive and I’d be selfish not to share if it can help others. Maybe the name of Phase Four is “Pay it Forward…”? I’ll let you know when I get there….
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Seeing the + in the -
(To start at the beginning of the series, check out "Fake It..." )
Now that I’d become a man about town wearing my goofy smile and handing out compliments like Halloween candy, it was time to start making some real changes. This phase didn’t require suspension of certain human traits but direct, head-on confrontation of how I viewed events/situations to stop focusing on the negative.
Phase Two of the experiment can be described as “Seeing the positive in the negative”. Bad, unfortunate things happen to good people…it’s a fact of life but I was determined to find as much “positive” as possible in everything (especially when I failed at something...which we all know rarely ever happens in my world).
Case in point, the other day I decided to take a chance and ask a very nice girl out for coffee. Going into the situation, success seemed very likely but reality was a bit less forgiving…my offer was politely declined. (Author’s Note: Obviously I didn't adequately present all the wonderful things associated with being around ESC or she’d have said “Yes! How about right now?” : ) In the past, I’d have been bummed at putting myself out there only to fail but not this time. I focused on the positive aspects (I confronted my anxiety of asking her and took the leap regardless of the consequences!) and not the negative aspects (She declined). I’m not going to ignore the mistakes made in the process but simply chose to be happy about taking the chance instead of dwelling on the outcome.
I need to take a moment to clarify the difference between declining an offer and being rejected…they are NOT the same thing. Declining my invitation for coffee was not personal in any way….it was simply the act of declining an invitation to meet and nothing more. Next time I see her, how will I react? The same as I always have (friendly, cordial, etc.) because it wasn’t personal. Now, if she’d said, “No way! You’re a geek and have the biggest nose I’ve ever seen!” then that’s personal. For the record, I’m not a geek…OK, not a really big geek.
You’re thinking, “So what…he probably gets “declined” all the time? He’s able to see the positive in a fairly easy situation but could he find the positive in something truly awful?” The answer is yes. I’d describe my life as a "tragicomedy in progress" so plenty of really good examples to choose from.
A few years ago, I went through an especially rough period of life where I saw the dissolution of a 10 year romantic relationship, job loss and the complete, utter failure of all aspects of my life in the span of about a month. I focused so intensely on the negative aspects I lost over 20 lbs and basically slept walked through an entire year of my life. During the following years, I slowly began to see the positives (quite by accident and through no conscious effort) and decided to revisit the situation during the experiment by writing down all the positives and negatives. Not only did the positives outnumber the negatives, I discovered the negatives were things I no longer needed (the introduction to Phase Three).
Phase Two is still in progress and I have more to accomplish but here’s what I’ve learned so far:
There is at least one positive point in ANY situation…you may have to dig deep but it’s there.
You have to constantly work on this as it’s easy to revert to old patterns of thought…especially after a failure.
Was it easy to go back through all the bad times and mistakes? Not really…but it was necessary to re-frame the events so my thoughts focus on the positive outcomes because those memories are the ones worth remembering. Maybe I’m deluding myself but that’s OK because it’s a pretty good place to be and my perception is reality!
To be continued...
NOTE: In reference to the statement, “So what…he probably gets “declined” all the time? “ …I’ll admit I’m batting a bit under .500 these days but you don’t have to hit every pitch, only the right ones : )
Now that I’d become a man about town wearing my goofy smile and handing out compliments like Halloween candy, it was time to start making some real changes. This phase didn’t require suspension of certain human traits but direct, head-on confrontation of how I viewed events/situations to stop focusing on the negative.
Phase Two of the experiment can be described as “Seeing the positive in the negative”. Bad, unfortunate things happen to good people…it’s a fact of life but I was determined to find as much “positive” as possible in everything (especially when I failed at something...which we all know rarely ever happens in my world).
Case in point, the other day I decided to take a chance and ask a very nice girl out for coffee. Going into the situation, success seemed very likely but reality was a bit less forgiving…my offer was politely declined. (Author’s Note: Obviously I didn't adequately present all the wonderful things associated with being around ESC or she’d have said “Yes! How about right now?” : ) In the past, I’d have been bummed at putting myself out there only to fail but not this time. I focused on the positive aspects (I confronted my anxiety of asking her and took the leap regardless of the consequences!) and not the negative aspects (She declined). I’m not going to ignore the mistakes made in the process but simply chose to be happy about taking the chance instead of dwelling on the outcome.
I need to take a moment to clarify the difference between declining an offer and being rejected…they are NOT the same thing. Declining my invitation for coffee was not personal in any way….it was simply the act of declining an invitation to meet and nothing more. Next time I see her, how will I react? The same as I always have (friendly, cordial, etc.) because it wasn’t personal. Now, if she’d said, “No way! You’re a geek and have the biggest nose I’ve ever seen!” then that’s personal. For the record, I’m not a geek…OK, not a really big geek.
You’re thinking, “So what…he probably gets “declined” all the time? He’s able to see the positive in a fairly easy situation but could he find the positive in something truly awful?” The answer is yes. I’d describe my life as a "tragicomedy in progress" so plenty of really good examples to choose from.
A few years ago, I went through an especially rough period of life where I saw the dissolution of a 10 year romantic relationship, job loss and the complete, utter failure of all aspects of my life in the span of about a month. I focused so intensely on the negative aspects I lost over 20 lbs and basically slept walked through an entire year of my life. During the following years, I slowly began to see the positives (quite by accident and through no conscious effort) and decided to revisit the situation during the experiment by writing down all the positives and negatives. Not only did the positives outnumber the negatives, I discovered the negatives were things I no longer needed (the introduction to Phase Three).
Phase Two is still in progress and I have more to accomplish but here’s what I’ve learned so far:
There is at least one positive point in ANY situation…you may have to dig deep but it’s there.
You have to constantly work on this as it’s easy to revert to old patterns of thought…especially after a failure.
Was it easy to go back through all the bad times and mistakes? Not really…but it was necessary to re-frame the events so my thoughts focus on the positive outcomes because those memories are the ones worth remembering. Maybe I’m deluding myself but that’s OK because it’s a pretty good place to be and my perception is reality!
To be continued...
NOTE: In reference to the statement, “So what…he probably gets “declined” all the time? “ …I’ll admit I’m batting a bit under .500 these days but you don’t have to hit every pitch, only the right ones : )
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Fake It...
How much better would your life be if you simply chose to be happy? I first stumbled across the idea while researching Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) which led me to a website discussing the principles of Huna. It was an interesting concept but hardly life changing for a man who doesn’t believe in spirituality, Cartesian Dualism or any of the New Age nonsense. It’s a nice thought but it can’t be as simple as saying “I want and choose to be happy”…nothing is that easy!
The idea of “choosing happiness” didn’t resurface until a few months ago when I was researching quality of hire. How do you find enlightenment while researching HR topics? By accident! I found a blog entry on the topic and the author discussed her research but, in the end, it always came back to the fact that a person’s perception is their reality. The light bulb came on and an experiment was now in order.
My “experiment” isn’t based on any single philosophy or path but on the trial and error of evolutionary learning (i.e. I’ll make mistakes but will learn from them to get to the next level...or not and will wander aimlessly). The experiment has a beginning but no defined end at this point…The goal is to be happy for the rest of my life either through choice or by finding the thing(s) that naturally bring happiness.
The first phase of my experiment can best be described as “Fake it”. Behavior/thoughts don’t change overnight as you’ve got an entire life time of negative reinforcement and rationality to overcome. This phase requires suspension of some basic human traits…in essence, fake being happy even when your not. My goal was to smile at all times (in public) and to say at least one nice thing to five strangers a day. It sounds easy but it’s harder than you think!
I started at a local shopping mall and decided to walk around with my new positive attitude and smile to see what happened. Not much...on the first trip, I felt very conscious of the fact I was smiling and probably looked like one of those “happy” people you just want to slap for no real reason. It took multiple trips but it became more natural the less I thought about it and simply let muscle memory take over. Over time, I found myself smiling even though I wasn’t really happy. I was faking it like a politician!
The second part of Phase One was much more difficult as I had to engage strangers in a non-threatening way and give them a compliment. There were no limiters so it could be anyone and I found my first opportunity by chance. I was buying dress shirts at Macy’s and a woman was debating (with another woman) which of two shirts to buy for her husband. My comment, “Get both…you have excellent taste”. Did she have good taste? I don’t know (and don’t care!) as the point wasn’t to establish a conversation or get anything from the interaction…just to say something positive. The outcome was a sincere smile and the comment “You’re right...I like them both. Thank you”. Success!
But what do you do when real life situations intrude on the experiement? The situation at my office over the past two weeks has been downright depressing and walking around with a smile would’ve made me look like an insensitive idiot. I’m sure people would have said “What a jack*ss! He’s smiling while people are being sacked!” so had to change up the plan. I decided to substitute words of encouragement with the goal of making people feel better...think of it as projecting your smile to others.
At the conclusion of Phase One, here’s what I’ve learned:
1) Forcing a smile (even when I felt less than happy) actually improved my mood and reduced stress…it became a natural feeling much easier than expected.
2) Most people (walking alone) either have no expression or frown in their natural state. I found this shocking and actually walked around a bit longer to try and find one person who was smiling…no success.
3) A sincere gesture/compliment is usually met with a look of disbelief and healthy dose of skepticism (we are a cynical society…).
4) The better I treat other people the better I feel about myself and my situation. Making others feel better about themselves or their situation brings you happiness...guaranteed!
At the end of Phase One, I’d changed my outward appearance (smiling almost all the time) and attitude when interacting with people and it was starting to show positive results. I was still faking it a great deal of the time but it was starting to become more natural.
With lessons learned, it's time for Phase Two.
To be continued…
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Art of the Happy Ending…
There’s an art to the break up and few people take the time to create a true masterpiece. Maybe it’s because people read too many of those stupid relationship advice articles or just lack creativity and a sense of style? Maybe people are just too lazy to care? We spend so much time studying how to meet people that we often neglect the importance of knowing how to end it.
As part of my research to make this the best blog in the universe, I subject myself to the inanities of Cosmo (the answer to all problems is sex and the perfect O) and Marie Claire (my all-time favorite…completely useless advice) to get some female perspective on relationships. Outside of rehashing the same topics over and over, I have to laugh when they play the “man” to tell women how we feel or what’s in our head. The article above is a great example…let’s break it down from a man’s perspective:
Article: “You are not ruining someone's life; they will get over you some day.”
Man View: We’ll get over you as soon as we get laid again. Nothing says “what's her name?” like scoring with someone new…especially if she’s hotter than the ex. Bonus points if she’ll do all the things your ex wouldn’t even consider. Double bonus points if she let’s you film it!
Article: If you don't break up quickly and honestly, it's unfair to you and the other person.
Man View: What in the h*ll does honesty have to do with anything during a break up? Men really don't care about the "why"...you're leaving so don't bore us with all the reasons and brutual honesty. It's not like we're going to change...besides, we are already thinking about the girl at the office and all the other girls we'd like to meet.
Article: Make it fast…
Man View: Please do…we have other girls (who know you!) to meet and a long, drawn out commentary on the relationship wastes our time. It’s a common misconception that men will try to sleep with their ex’s friends to get even but not so…we’ll sleep with every girl you’ve ever been jealous of or hate! Why? Your friends are on the defensive (and wouldn’t betray you unless they secretly hate you) but all those other girls are lining up to stick the dagger deep in your back. They may be married, in a committed relationship, whatever…doesn’t matter, if they hate you enough; they will play their part in the “revenge”. Most, if not all will score "bonus points"...some will even get "Double Bonus Points"!
Article: Avoid cliché’s like "I love you; I'm just not in love with you." Guys don't understand this stuff.
Man View: Sure we do…women have been sold on the idea we’re too stupid to understand most things but we understand everything all while playing dumb. It’s OK…we probably told you “I love you” when we didn’t really mean it either.
Article: People will beg, cry, get angry, or shower you with guilt. Just keep going, try to ward off your guilt.
Man View: Guilt? Not sure what that is but doesn’t sound like it would be any fun. A man will only beg, plead or cry (for goodness sakes…you’re a Man!) if he has no one lined up to take your place. I don’t mean a solid relationship that fulfills his every need…I mean a girl who is available for the occasional, no commitment, extremely fun and adventurous conjugal visit. The domain of Guilt is strictly a female construct…men have no need or want for such a useless emotion.
Article: Let them know the deal: you won't be answering their calls or emails.
Man View: We’ll only call if we have no other options for sex….period. We don’t want you back…if you’ve managed to hurt us then you’ve been reduced in stature from goddess/potential wife/mother of our children to the legions of nameless, faceless women we pass on the street every day. Men are strong, tough, and proud...if you hurt/betray/wound then we’re done with you (except for the occasional, no commitment, extremely fun and adventurous conjugal visit).
Article: The more you take them back, the less seriously they'll take your breakup attempts.
Man View: The lack of a consistent message just tells us you’re bi-polar, manic or just plain crazy with other issues we want no part of in a long-term capacity. If we come back, it’s strictly part-time while we line up the next girl or for the occasional, no commitment, extremely fun and adventurous conjugal visit. I know it's mentioned above twice but can never be stressed enough in Man World!
Article: The longer you've been together, the more likely it is that you'll be required to do it in person.
Man View: Nothing says “disrespect” like dropping a guy via text message when you’ve been together for any amount of time. Guys will tell other guys about your lack of courage (among all the other things you “lacked”) and they’ll tell their girlfriends….soon these women will be talking about what you lack and then it’s truly over! Women think men can be cruel…but we can never be as cruel as other women!
The male mind is complex and there's no way a magazine article will ever shed any meaningful light on it's workings...especially when it comes to relationships. When it's time to call it quits, don't try to get into our heads or other such nonsense...just do it and move on because we've got places to go and enemies to meet!
Author’s Note: The information above is purely for entertainment purposes only and doesn’t reflect the opinions/thoughts/past of the author in any capacity. If you were offended by the entry, please send me the name, age, phone number and brief description of all the women that are jealous of/hate you and I’ll do all I can to make it right...everybody smile ; )
As part of my research to make this the best blog in the universe, I subject myself to the inanities of Cosmo (the answer to all problems is sex and the perfect O) and Marie Claire (my all-time favorite…completely useless advice) to get some female perspective on relationships. Outside of rehashing the same topics over and over, I have to laugh when they play the “man” to tell women how we feel or what’s in our head. The article above is a great example…let’s break it down from a man’s perspective:
Article: “You are not ruining someone's life; they will get over you some day.”
Man View: We’ll get over you as soon as we get laid again. Nothing says “what's her name?” like scoring with someone new…especially if she’s hotter than the ex. Bonus points if she’ll do all the things your ex wouldn’t even consider. Double bonus points if she let’s you film it!
Article: If you don't break up quickly and honestly, it's unfair to you and the other person.
Man View: What in the h*ll does honesty have to do with anything during a break up? Men really don't care about the "why"...you're leaving so don't bore us with all the reasons and brutual honesty. It's not like we're going to change...besides, we are already thinking about the girl at the office and all the other girls we'd like to meet.
Article: Make it fast…
Man View: Please do…we have other girls (who know you!) to meet and a long, drawn out commentary on the relationship wastes our time. It’s a common misconception that men will try to sleep with their ex’s friends to get even but not so…we’ll sleep with every girl you’ve ever been jealous of or hate! Why? Your friends are on the defensive (and wouldn’t betray you unless they secretly hate you) but all those other girls are lining up to stick the dagger deep in your back. They may be married, in a committed relationship, whatever…doesn’t matter, if they hate you enough; they will play their part in the “revenge”. Most, if not all will score "bonus points"...some will even get "Double Bonus Points"!
Article: Avoid cliché’s like "I love you; I'm just not in love with you." Guys don't understand this stuff.
Man View: Sure we do…women have been sold on the idea we’re too stupid to understand most things but we understand everything all while playing dumb. It’s OK…we probably told you “I love you” when we didn’t really mean it either.
Article: People will beg, cry, get angry, or shower you with guilt. Just keep going, try to ward off your guilt.
Man View: Guilt? Not sure what that is but doesn’t sound like it would be any fun. A man will only beg, plead or cry (for goodness sakes…you’re a Man!) if he has no one lined up to take your place. I don’t mean a solid relationship that fulfills his every need…I mean a girl who is available for the occasional, no commitment, extremely fun and adventurous conjugal visit. The domain of Guilt is strictly a female construct…men have no need or want for such a useless emotion.
Article: Let them know the deal: you won't be answering their calls or emails.
Man View: We’ll only call if we have no other options for sex….period. We don’t want you back…if you’ve managed to hurt us then you’ve been reduced in stature from goddess/potential wife/mother of our children to the legions of nameless, faceless women we pass on the street every day. Men are strong, tough, and proud...if you hurt/betray/wound then we’re done with you (except for the occasional, no commitment, extremely fun and adventurous conjugal visit).
Article: The more you take them back, the less seriously they'll take your breakup attempts.
Man View: The lack of a consistent message just tells us you’re bi-polar, manic or just plain crazy with other issues we want no part of in a long-term capacity. If we come back, it’s strictly part-time while we line up the next girl or for the occasional, no commitment, extremely fun and adventurous conjugal visit. I know it's mentioned above twice but can never be stressed enough in Man World!
Article: The longer you've been together, the more likely it is that you'll be required to do it in person.
Man View: Nothing says “disrespect” like dropping a guy via text message when you’ve been together for any amount of time. Guys will tell other guys about your lack of courage (among all the other things you “lacked”) and they’ll tell their girlfriends….soon these women will be talking about what you lack and then it’s truly over! Women think men can be cruel…but we can never be as cruel as other women!
The male mind is complex and there's no way a magazine article will ever shed any meaningful light on it's workings...especially when it comes to relationships. When it's time to call it quits, don't try to get into our heads or other such nonsense...just do it and move on because we've got places to go and enemies to meet!
Author’s Note: The information above is purely for entertainment purposes only and doesn’t reflect the opinions/thoughts/past of the author in any capacity. If you were offended by the entry, please send me the name, age, phone number and brief description of all the women that are jealous of/hate you and I’ll do all I can to make it right...everybody smile ; )
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Too lazy to meet your match(.com)...Part II
Note: If you haven’t read any of the previous posts in the series, click here or none of this will make any sense at all.
When I started researching the mail order bride websites, I tried the trusty key word search but got way too many results. It’s a popular search as one site had over 4.4 million distinct searches. I needed a better plan to narrow the field to only quality websites but how? Simple…I asked my married friends which ones they go to!
In case you didn’t know, married men are the best source for information on things like strip clubs, free internet p*rn sites, dating sites, any movie with nudity, etc. This is NOT a theory…it’s a proven fact! Most single guys are too busy out meeting girls to spend hours scouring the net for the slightest glimpse of skin. Married men…they’ve got the rest of their life to search the net.
One of my friends (we’ll came him Wizzer) has long advocated this site after his trips (w/the wife) to the Soviet Union. The site has over 18,000 women looking for any man who will take them away. Are you short, fat, balding with body odor? No problem…she’ll say “Yes!” if you’ll get her out of the USSR.
Russian women are beautiful but life is very hard for them as the most common occupation for Russian men is unemployment and his hobbies usually include alcoholism, drug addiction, serial adultery and battery…kind of sounds like the guys on the prison pen pal site!
Another friend (we’ll call him GP) is a fan of this site. Interesting collection of prospects but think they're slightly off target in their thoughts about what an American man is searching for in a mail order spouse. “Americans are attracted by diligence, firmness, and stability of mind”. Well…One out three ain't bad!
I’ll have to take a pass for now but reserve the right to take the easy way out if I ever wake up short, fat and balding with body odor. Oh no...I’m already one out of four!
When I started researching the mail order bride websites, I tried the trusty key word search but got way too many results. It’s a popular search as one site had over 4.4 million distinct searches. I needed a better plan to narrow the field to only quality websites but how? Simple…I asked my married friends which ones they go to!
In case you didn’t know, married men are the best source for information on things like strip clubs, free internet p*rn sites, dating sites, any movie with nudity, etc. This is NOT a theory…it’s a proven fact! Most single guys are too busy out meeting girls to spend hours scouring the net for the slightest glimpse of skin. Married men…they’ve got the rest of their life to search the net.
One of my friends (we’ll came him Wizzer) has long advocated this site after his trips (w/the wife) to the Soviet Union. The site has over 18,000 women looking for any man who will take them away. Are you short, fat, balding with body odor? No problem…she’ll say “Yes!” if you’ll get her out of the USSR.
Russian women are beautiful but life is very hard for them as the most common occupation for Russian men is unemployment and his hobbies usually include alcoholism, drug addiction, serial adultery and battery…kind of sounds like the guys on the prison pen pal site!
Another friend (we’ll call him GP) is a fan of this site. Interesting collection of prospects but think they're slightly off target in their thoughts about what an American man is searching for in a mail order spouse. “Americans are attracted by diligence, firmness, and stability of mind”. Well…One out three ain't bad!
I’ll have to take a pass for now but reserve the right to take the easy way out if I ever wake up short, fat and balding with body odor. Oh no...I’m already one out of four!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Too lazy to meet your match(.com)...Part I
NOTE: This entry was inspired by the overwhelming feedback to my previous post….OK, only the “Commish” actually posted a comment but quite sure my other 3 readers appreciated it as well.
The thought of a prison pen pal is somewhat intriguing as a way to meet “soon-to-be-available/paroled” women but it just seems like too much work. Think about it….you have to establish a fake identity, a PO Box (never have them respond to your real address!), buy stamps and all sorts of other complications. Personally, I don’t have that kind of time (OK…maybe I do) so decided to scour the web to find an even easier way to the future ex-Mrs. ESC. The journey was perilous but I bring you new content for your enjoyment!
The first thing I discovered is the landscape is VERY different for women using the Internet to find a husband. A quick Google search for “mail order husband” returned very few results...mostly questions about the subject. There were a couple sites listed and here’s the top choice.
I didn’t see a pricing guide so emailed them and received the following reply:
“Thanks for your inquiry about pricing. We’ve copied the e-Bay model and operate on an “open bid” process. Although we have no reserve, we do ask your bid be greater than $1 dollar (that’s what Pay Pal charges us to process your payment). If you’re short on cash, we are open to trading for old Atari games or Star Trek PEZ dispensers. Thank you.”
Heck of a deal but most women aren’t looking to spend money to find a husband….they’re looking to find a husband with money. I’d like to believe there’s more to love than money (probably because I work for a living….) but I could be wrong. There’s some truth that money makes an ugly guy beautiful…just ask Mickey Rourke or Nick Nolte. Since both these guys are taken, try your luck with this group of obscenely wealthy bachelors.
At this point, you’re probably wondering if guys have to navigate the same mine field to get a mail order bride? The answer is a resounding “NO!” and we’ll cover that in the next post.
The thought of a prison pen pal is somewhat intriguing as a way to meet “soon-to-be-available/paroled” women but it just seems like too much work. Think about it….you have to establish a fake identity, a PO Box (never have them respond to your real address!), buy stamps and all sorts of other complications. Personally, I don’t have that kind of time (OK…maybe I do) so decided to scour the web to find an even easier way to the future ex-Mrs. ESC. The journey was perilous but I bring you new content for your enjoyment!
The first thing I discovered is the landscape is VERY different for women using the Internet to find a husband. A quick Google search for “mail order husband” returned very few results...mostly questions about the subject. There were a couple sites listed and here’s the top choice.
I didn’t see a pricing guide so emailed them and received the following reply:
“Thanks for your inquiry about pricing. We’ve copied the e-Bay model and operate on an “open bid” process. Although we have no reserve, we do ask your bid be greater than $1 dollar (that’s what Pay Pal charges us to process your payment). If you’re short on cash, we are open to trading for old Atari games or Star Trek PEZ dispensers. Thank you.”
Heck of a deal but most women aren’t looking to spend money to find a husband….they’re looking to find a husband with money. I’d like to believe there’s more to love than money (probably because I work for a living….) but I could be wrong. There’s some truth that money makes an ugly guy beautiful…just ask Mickey Rourke or Nick Nolte. Since both these guys are taken, try your luck with this group of obscenely wealthy bachelors.
At this point, you’re probably wondering if guys have to navigate the same mine field to get a mail order bride? The answer is a resounding “NO!” and we’ll cover that in the next post.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
You've met your match(.com)
This entry is dedicated to all the single people trying to find someone special but having a difficult time. Tired of the cattle call mentality of Speed Dating? Disappointed in meeting the match.com person who looks nothing like their photo? Confused by the matches sent to your inbox from e-Harmony that totally don’t match you at all? We’ve tried all the “usual” methods to meet new people but nothing ever seems to work. Well, I’ve found a better way…just click here.
The age of the prison pen pal has arrived! Sure, they’ve been convicted of a felony but that doesn’t mean they don’t need love too. You can learn a great deal about people by their profiles…sometimes too much:
Shandra: Seems like a nice girl but not sure she’s learned her lesson yet as her profile says “When I'm out of prison, you'll most likely find me at a ski resort snowboarding or boating in the summer.” Sounds to me like she’s planning on going back to prison at some point so better make sure the deposit at the ski resort is refundable.
Krystal: Scary! She’d cut you just to see if the knife was sharp. I especially love the inclusion of “conversate”…old episodes of “In Living Color” anyone?
Liliana: Oh yeah…nice profile pic (love the tiger tattoo) but not sure there’s much potential here since she’s in for LIFE! Your Honor, I swear he threw himself on the knife….37 times!
Angelina: The picture is worth a thousand words…all bad. Her previous occupation was “massage therapist” however; I’m not sure giving massages at the truck stop counts as therapy?
Amber: They say all stereotypes have a bit of truth in them…so let’s try this one: A felon, stripper named Amber? A perfect trifecta!
Stephanie: Her previous occupation was case manager at a law firm…I’d say not a very good firm since she got prison time!
Lorinda: Nothing says C-L-A-S-S-Y like this profile! There is so much going on in I can't keep up!
For the ladies who read the blog, don’t feel left out as there are plenty of single, available men on the website too! Just think, never again will you have to wonder if the guy is a lying, cheating loser…He is(!) so no future disappointments. Plus, when it’s time to end the relationship, just call his P.O. (parole officer) and “violate” him. He’s on the next bus to Chino faster than you can mail your next pen pal letter.
Why pay match.com or e-Harmony a monthly fee to find you an endless cavalcade of losers when you can find your own for the cost of a stamp? Besides, who wants to say I met my "Mr./Ms. Right" at match.com? Boring! You've got to be diligent and determined to find your special someone and nothing says conviction to the cause like a prison pen pal.
The age of the prison pen pal has arrived! Sure, they’ve been convicted of a felony but that doesn’t mean they don’t need love too. You can learn a great deal about people by their profiles…sometimes too much:
Shandra: Seems like a nice girl but not sure she’s learned her lesson yet as her profile says “When I'm out of prison, you'll most likely find me at a ski resort snowboarding or boating in the summer.” Sounds to me like she’s planning on going back to prison at some point so better make sure the deposit at the ski resort is refundable.
Krystal: Scary! She’d cut you just to see if the knife was sharp. I especially love the inclusion of “conversate”…old episodes of “In Living Color” anyone?
Liliana: Oh yeah…nice profile pic (love the tiger tattoo) but not sure there’s much potential here since she’s in for LIFE! Your Honor, I swear he threw himself on the knife….37 times!
Angelina: The picture is worth a thousand words…all bad. Her previous occupation was “massage therapist” however; I’m not sure giving massages at the truck stop counts as therapy?
Amber: They say all stereotypes have a bit of truth in them…so let’s try this one: A felon, stripper named Amber? A perfect trifecta!
Stephanie: Her previous occupation was case manager at a law firm…I’d say not a very good firm since she got prison time!
Lorinda: Nothing says C-L-A-S-S-Y like this profile! There is so much going on in I can't keep up!
For the ladies who read the blog, don’t feel left out as there are plenty of single, available men on the website too! Just think, never again will you have to wonder if the guy is a lying, cheating loser…He is(!) so no future disappointments. Plus, when it’s time to end the relationship, just call his P.O. (parole officer) and “violate” him. He’s on the next bus to Chino faster than you can mail your next pen pal letter.
Why pay match.com or e-Harmony a monthly fee to find you an endless cavalcade of losers when you can find your own for the cost of a stamp? Besides, who wants to say I met my "Mr./Ms. Right" at match.com? Boring! You've got to be diligent and determined to find your special someone and nothing says conviction to the cause like a prison pen pal.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Three Date Rule...
You’re probably familiar with the “Three Date Rule”…if not; I’m not going to explain because you wouldn’t understand and probably fall into one or more of these categories:
You haven’t had a date since the last time a democrat was in the White House
You’ve been married forever and lost the will to live long ago
You live in a cave and only recently discovered the difference between boys and girls
You may know the rule but are you aware of the by-laws? It seems that you’ve got to go on three dates with the SAME person! What?!?!? When did this happen? This totally invalidates my new strategy of going out on a single date with two nice girls and then shooting for that ultra-hot, super model type in the off-chance she’ll go for the ever anticipated third date. Seems I’ve got to figure out how to get the super model to go out with me at least three times…this could be tough but not impossible.
Maybe I could use the Mystery Method or maybe pick up some “self help” books by Tony Clink but do you really have to expend that much energy to impress a super model? I’m thinking you start off with, “So, tell me about yourself…” and she’ll talk for hours! If I take her to three different places on the same date then maybe I can convince her that she has been on three dates? Hmmm…that just might work!
I’d originally planned to post something a bit more serious on the challenges of dating in the modern world but not my style…It’s all about having a bit of fun while you wander through the wilderness cold, naked and alone. That’s not to say the experiences are all bad as some have been interesting, entertaining and even down right bizarre (Aimee, I know you don’t read the blog but “thank you” because people still go “No way that actually happened!” when I tell the story). Call me crazy but I miss the misadventures of dating so maybe it’s time to start looking again?
To be continued…
You haven’t had a date since the last time a democrat was in the White House
You’ve been married forever and lost the will to live long ago
You live in a cave and only recently discovered the difference between boys and girls
You may know the rule but are you aware of the by-laws? It seems that you’ve got to go on three dates with the SAME person! What?!?!? When did this happen? This totally invalidates my new strategy of going out on a single date with two nice girls and then shooting for that ultra-hot, super model type in the off-chance she’ll go for the ever anticipated third date. Seems I’ve got to figure out how to get the super model to go out with me at least three times…this could be tough but not impossible.
Maybe I could use the Mystery Method or maybe pick up some “self help” books by Tony Clink but do you really have to expend that much energy to impress a super model? I’m thinking you start off with, “So, tell me about yourself…” and she’ll talk for hours! If I take her to three different places on the same date then maybe I can convince her that she has been on three dates? Hmmm…that just might work!
I’d originally planned to post something a bit more serious on the challenges of dating in the modern world but not my style…It’s all about having a bit of fun while you wander through the wilderness cold, naked and alone. That’s not to say the experiences are all bad as some have been interesting, entertaining and even down right bizarre (Aimee, I know you don’t read the blog but “thank you” because people still go “No way that actually happened!” when I tell the story). Call me crazy but I miss the misadventures of dating so maybe it’s time to start looking again?
To be continued…
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Disco Inferno
Why do people who can’t dance always think they can? Do they think other people don’t notice the lack of coordination, rhythm and style while they’re out there flailing around the dance floor?
I’ve got no problem with dancing and even tried to learn how once. I could have gone the video lesson route but couldn’t find a copy of D-Qwon's Dance Grooves so why bother? Plus, I wasn’t convinced a video was going to be able to teach me all the coolest moves (or maybe I was just afraid of looking like the white guy dancing in “Dolemite”) so I set out to find a teacher who could school me in the fine art of dancing. My search could have taken me around the world but I never had to leave Charlotte.
You see, I already knew the best dance instructor in town! I met Rodrigo several years ago when we worked together at another company so decided to take him up on the offer to join his tango class for beginners. The class was truly for beginners as most people were still learning basic steps but I don’t think anyone was ready for the rhythmic gyrations of Esc. For the few not doubled over in laughter, there was genuine concern I was having a seizure or some other neurological malfunction causing my body to move in such an unnatural manner. It was time for an intervention.
Rodrigo pulled me aside and paired me up with a very nice girl for personal instruction (probably to spare the rest of the class but I was happy to be working at the slowest pace that could still be called dancing). We started out with a couple basic steps and all went well until I tried to connect it all together. The utter look of hopelessness on her face will forever be frozen in my mind…it was once again time for an intervention.
During the next break, Rodrigo came over and said, “Tango is……….not for you. Maybe we should try a private lesson?” Somehow my quest to up my game with some serious dance moves had proven to be much more difficult than expected. It had all looked so easy on Dance Fever but I had to face reality…I’d never be as good as Deney Terrio no matter how diligently I practiced or how much I wanted it. No amount of gold chains or skin tight, white polyester pants could hide my utter lack of dancing skill. In the grips of my new found depression, I suddenly realized if I left Ri-Rah’s right then I could make it home in time for CSI. It was time for an exit.
I’ve danced once since then but that’s a story for another day…
Note: Although I was a terrible student, Rodrigo is a phenomenal, patient teacher and has my highest recommendation. If you’re local to Charlotte and want to learn from the best, click here to learn more. Tell him you heard about the website from his old manager at the SEDC and watch him smile.
I’ve got no problem with dancing and even tried to learn how once. I could have gone the video lesson route but couldn’t find a copy of D-Qwon's Dance Grooves so why bother? Plus, I wasn’t convinced a video was going to be able to teach me all the coolest moves (or maybe I was just afraid of looking like the white guy dancing in “Dolemite”) so I set out to find a teacher who could school me in the fine art of dancing. My search could have taken me around the world but I never had to leave Charlotte.
You see, I already knew the best dance instructor in town! I met Rodrigo several years ago when we worked together at another company so decided to take him up on the offer to join his tango class for beginners. The class was truly for beginners as most people were still learning basic steps but I don’t think anyone was ready for the rhythmic gyrations of Esc. For the few not doubled over in laughter, there was genuine concern I was having a seizure or some other neurological malfunction causing my body to move in such an unnatural manner. It was time for an intervention.
Rodrigo pulled me aside and paired me up with a very nice girl for personal instruction (probably to spare the rest of the class but I was happy to be working at the slowest pace that could still be called dancing). We started out with a couple basic steps and all went well until I tried to connect it all together. The utter look of hopelessness on her face will forever be frozen in my mind…it was once again time for an intervention.
During the next break, Rodrigo came over and said, “Tango is……….not for you. Maybe we should try a private lesson?” Somehow my quest to up my game with some serious dance moves had proven to be much more difficult than expected. It had all looked so easy on Dance Fever but I had to face reality…I’d never be as good as Deney Terrio no matter how diligently I practiced or how much I wanted it. No amount of gold chains or skin tight, white polyester pants could hide my utter lack of dancing skill. In the grips of my new found depression, I suddenly realized if I left Ri-Rah’s right then I could make it home in time for CSI. It was time for an exit.
I’ve danced once since then but that’s a story for another day…
Note: Although I was a terrible student, Rodrigo is a phenomenal, patient teacher and has my highest recommendation. If you’re local to Charlotte and want to learn from the best, click here to learn more. Tell him you heard about the website from his old manager at the SEDC and watch him smile.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Chairman Mao has spoken...and he's pissed!
I dedicated space yesterday to review Chinese Democracy but it seems the Chinese government didn't get around to reading my post. They issued a statement today denouncing the new album as an "attack" on their country. Wow, I wasn't aware that Axl Rose wielded that kind of power...maybe I shouldn't complain next time he makes me wait 4.5 hours to grace the stage.
To protest this affront, the Chinese government announced they would be suspending safety controls on all toys made for American consumers. Wait, they already did that a while back. OK...they decided to relax safety standards on the food produced and exported to America. Oh, they did that a few months ago too. I know, they've decided to suppress all human rights for any citizen caught listening to Chinese Democracy. Too late, they already do that for EVERYONE. For lack of any real action, they decided to just issue a press release denouncing an album they have never heard that really has nothing to do with them.
In additional GNR news, T-Rex sent the following picture that was one of the album cover choices.
To protest this affront, the Chinese government announced they would be suspending safety controls on all toys made for American consumers. Wait, they already did that a while back. OK...they decided to relax safety standards on the food produced and exported to America. Oh, they did that a few months ago too. I know, they've decided to suppress all human rights for any citizen caught listening to Chinese Democracy. Too late, they already do that for EVERYONE. For lack of any real action, they decided to just issue a press release denouncing an album they have never heard that really has nothing to do with them.
In additional GNR news, T-Rex sent the following picture that was one of the album cover choices.
The artwork above is so much better than the final selection but the WSJ reported the artist declined to sell to GNR out of fear on how it would be received in his country. The WSJ tried to follow-up with the artist but was unable as the State indicated he was on "extended sabbatical" and unable to speak any longer...uh, I mean comment.
As much as I try not to reward the RIAA by actually buying a new CD, temptation was too great yesterday and I found myself at Best Buy under the guise of buying a new Blue-Ray player. Somehow, I'm not really sure, when I got outside the CD was in my bag even though I don't remember the purchase. Walk a little faster and don't look back...
I give Chinese Democracy a solid 4.5 out of 5 stars. The half star deduction was for making me wait 17 years!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Chinese Democracy has arrived...
Great expectations…that’s all I can say about the release of Chinese Democracy after 17 years of hype/mystery/drama. You can listen to the ENTIRE album at the link below and make up your own mind:
http://www.myspace.com/gunsnroses
I‘d heard most of the record through various bootleg demos over the past 2 years and it’s NOT the GNR sound of yesteryear so if your looking for an “Appetite” remake then you’ll be disappointed. If you’re looking for the next logical progression from the “Illusion” records you’ll find some similarities but not an extension of those albums. The songs are an eclectic mix and you can tell which songs were written in the different years as the styles change (sometimes abruptly) from song to song. It’s a GNR record in name only so leave your preconceived notions at the door and listen with an open mind…you might be surprised how fast it grows on you. If not, at least you get a Free Dr. Pepper today because Chinese Democracy arrived in 2008!
Note: I normally don’t write about music but this record is different because of a personal connection. A friend (T-Rex) has patiently waited almost 44% of his life to see this day. Think about that for a second…almost half a lifetime! Where were you 17 years ago? T-Rex, I hope it was worth all the wait…and hope we don’t have to wait another 17 years for the next record!
http://www.myspace.com/gunsnroses
I‘d heard most of the record through various bootleg demos over the past 2 years and it’s NOT the GNR sound of yesteryear so if your looking for an “Appetite” remake then you’ll be disappointed. If you’re looking for the next logical progression from the “Illusion” records you’ll find some similarities but not an extension of those albums. The songs are an eclectic mix and you can tell which songs were written in the different years as the styles change (sometimes abruptly) from song to song. It’s a GNR record in name only so leave your preconceived notions at the door and listen with an open mind…you might be surprised how fast it grows on you. If not, at least you get a Free Dr. Pepper today because Chinese Democracy arrived in 2008!
Note: I normally don’t write about music but this record is different because of a personal connection. A friend (T-Rex) has patiently waited almost 44% of his life to see this day. Think about that for a second…almost half a lifetime! Where were you 17 years ago? T-Rex, I hope it was worth all the wait…and hope we don’t have to wait another 17 years for the next record!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Perfect blog entry...by someone else
Even though the election is over, the media refuses to let Sarah Palin fade from memory. News stories galore of her speech at the Governor's meeting in FL and how she's leaving the door open for a 2012 run for President. Is this really news? We got enough of this speculation while the 2008 campaign was still happening! She may have "energized the base" (not sure who these 16 people are as even my Republican friends thought she was a drag on the ticket) but there are so many things I will not miss once she's faded back into the frozen tundra of Alaska.
I will not miss her pit bull style attacks aimed at some unknown "enemy" of all that is middle class and right. I will not miss her smug sense of self-righteousness and "know-it-all" attitude from a woman who attended 6 separate colleges to get a 4 year degree. There is virtually nothing I will miss about her.
I will, however, miss her continued assault on the English language! As the recipient of an EARNED English degree from an accredited university, I wince every time she opens her mouth. I have confirmed that others feel the same way:
http://cavett.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/the-wild-wordsmith-of-wasilla/?em
This is one of the best blog entries (on the subject) I've ever read...Kudos to you Mr. Cavett! I just wish I'd written it...
I will not miss her pit bull style attacks aimed at some unknown "enemy" of all that is middle class and right. I will not miss her smug sense of self-righteousness and "know-it-all" attitude from a woman who attended 6 separate colleges to get a 4 year degree. There is virtually nothing I will miss about her.
I will, however, miss her continued assault on the English language! As the recipient of an EARNED English degree from an accredited university, I wince every time she opens her mouth. I have confirmed that others feel the same way:
http://cavett.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/the-wild-wordsmith-of-wasilla/?em
This is one of the best blog entries (on the subject) I've ever read...Kudos to you Mr. Cavett! I just wish I'd written it...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Relationship PDP
The time has come for the Relationship PDP to become standard operating procedure for all couples! For those of you not in HR (Human Resources), PDP stands for Performance Development Plan which is a tool used to measure a person’s performance towards achieving specific, pre-defined, time bound deliverables. If you work for a company of any size, you have one of these (it may be called something different) and it's used to determine your raise, bonus payout and your continued employment. Why not introduce this valuable tool into your relationship(s)?
How many times have you asked yourself why your partner repeatedly fails to hold up their end of the deal even though it has been discussed too many times? The answer is very simple….no consequences for poor performance! The PDP defines their role/responsibilities so there is no gray area or chance for misunderstanding because everyone agrees to the contents of the PDP before it goes into effect.
Let’s say your partner continually ignores his/her household chores, you can quietly fume while carrying the burden OR you can break out the PDP informing him/her that their performance is sub-par and must be corrected or there will be consequences. You’re not being the “bad guy” because you’ve pre-defined the deliverables so your partner has no excuses and can’t claim ignorance because he/she agreed to the terms. If your partner continues to demonstrate sub-par performance then it’s time to activate the penalty phase and show him/her that you mean business!
The PDP can also be used to help discuss subjects that are sometimes a bit sensitive or embarrassing and set reasonable expectations around performance. Let’s say you’re envious of a GEICO commercial because, unlike your partner, it can go a FULL 30 seconds before it’s finished. That’s a touchy topic that could be very difficult to discuss under normal circumstances but not if you have a PDP. The expectations have been set up front so "quick draw" knows that if his/her performance doesn’t improve then there will be consequences.
The true benefit of the PDP is that rewards/bonuses can be set for exceptional performance. Let’s say you meet all your deliverables then it’s time to activate the “bonus” clause…which can be anything from a special purchase, a trip, more conjugal visits (or less conjugal visits depending on your relationship), etc. The whole point is to reward your partner for holding up their end of the deal and reinforce positive behavior.
It’s funny how relationships always start out with both people being so attentive to each others needs but, over time, we all fall into the trap of familiarity. We get busy, tired, disconnected and lose focus so the need for the Relationship PDP has arrived. You may think you don't need it but you do...
How many times have you asked yourself why your partner repeatedly fails to hold up their end of the deal even though it has been discussed too many times? The answer is very simple….no consequences for poor performance! The PDP defines their role/responsibilities so there is no gray area or chance for misunderstanding because everyone agrees to the contents of the PDP before it goes into effect.
Let’s say your partner continually ignores his/her household chores, you can quietly fume while carrying the burden OR you can break out the PDP informing him/her that their performance is sub-par and must be corrected or there will be consequences. You’re not being the “bad guy” because you’ve pre-defined the deliverables so your partner has no excuses and can’t claim ignorance because he/she agreed to the terms. If your partner continues to demonstrate sub-par performance then it’s time to activate the penalty phase and show him/her that you mean business!
The PDP can also be used to help discuss subjects that are sometimes a bit sensitive or embarrassing and set reasonable expectations around performance. Let’s say you’re envious of a GEICO commercial because, unlike your partner, it can go a FULL 30 seconds before it’s finished. That’s a touchy topic that could be very difficult to discuss under normal circumstances but not if you have a PDP. The expectations have been set up front so "quick draw" knows that if his/her performance doesn’t improve then there will be consequences.
The true benefit of the PDP is that rewards/bonuses can be set for exceptional performance. Let’s say you meet all your deliverables then it’s time to activate the “bonus” clause…which can be anything from a special purchase, a trip, more conjugal visits (or less conjugal visits depending on your relationship), etc. The whole point is to reward your partner for holding up their end of the deal and reinforce positive behavior.
It’s funny how relationships always start out with both people being so attentive to each others needs but, over time, we all fall into the trap of familiarity. We get busy, tired, disconnected and lose focus so the need for the Relationship PDP has arrived. You may think you don't need it but you do...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Are you really going to wear that?!?!?!
Sometimes you see things that just make you laugh and then they make you think. I had one such experience on the way to the mountain bike trail this past weekend. There was a little boy walking with his mom wearing red cowboy boots, shorts and a yellow rain coat with the hood up...it wasn't raining! That's the awesome thing about kids...they are honest 100% of the time and simply do things for the sake/fun of doing it. This was his favorite outfit and he was wearing it no matter what anyone thought about it or him.
The whole thing made me laugh but it also brought back some horrid memories of my own life that thousands of dollars and years of therapy seem unable to remove from my consciousness. Seems I, too, was prone to the whole cowboy boot thing as a child (I actually had a cup shaped like a cowboy boot) and a picture surfaces every so often of me in said boots (The horror...the horror). I'm sure at the time I totally didn't care but now it's a special form of torture to relive those moments which, for some unknown reason, cause me great embarrassment.
After I stopped laughing, I started to think about how sad it is that we lose individuality as we age and spend the rest of our lives trying to “fit in” to someone else’s opinion of what’s acceptable. Years from now, that little boy will probably wear a suit and tie to work and cringe every time his mother mentions the red cowboy boots (especially to any girl he brings home to meet the parents) but on that beautiful Saturday afternoon, he had a smile on his face and a happiness that most adults can barely remember and will probably never experience again.
The whole thing made me laugh but it also brought back some horrid memories of my own life that thousands of dollars and years of therapy seem unable to remove from my consciousness. Seems I, too, was prone to the whole cowboy boot thing as a child (I actually had a cup shaped like a cowboy boot) and a picture surfaces every so often of me in said boots (The horror...the horror). I'm sure at the time I totally didn't care but now it's a special form of torture to relive those moments which, for some unknown reason, cause me great embarrassment.
After I stopped laughing, I started to think about how sad it is that we lose individuality as we age and spend the rest of our lives trying to “fit in” to someone else’s opinion of what’s acceptable. Years from now, that little boy will probably wear a suit and tie to work and cringe every time his mother mentions the red cowboy boots (especially to any girl he brings home to meet the parents) but on that beautiful Saturday afternoon, he had a smile on his face and a happiness that most adults can barely remember and will probably never experience again.
Monday, November 10, 2008
A tale of two cities...
I blogged earlier about my fears for the economy and subsequent job loss for Americans...including myself. It's coming true for the associates at DHL in Ohio:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/11/10/dhl.closing.wilmington/index.html
Of course, in Hollywood there is no real concern about the economy as Seth McFarlane scored a payday for penning an animated TV show:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/11/10/tv.qa.seth.macfarlane.ap/index.html
Maybe I'm too cynical but have a hard time understanding how a Fox TV show is worth $100M. I guess he picked the right time to score as I doubt many of the advertisers will be buying air time during his show when there is no one able to buy their products!
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/11/10/dhl.closing.wilmington/index.html
Of course, in Hollywood there is no real concern about the economy as Seth McFarlane scored a payday for penning an animated TV show:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/11/10/tv.qa.seth.macfarlane.ap/index.html
Maybe I'm too cynical but have a hard time understanding how a Fox TV show is worth $100M. I guess he picked the right time to score as I doubt many of the advertisers will be buying air time during his show when there is no one able to buy their products!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Help Wanted...
It’s a beautiful Sunday morning and I’m updating my resume…not because I want to but because I have to given the current environment. The following article is the “writing on the wall” warning the worst is yet to come and no one is safe:
http://money.cnn.com/2008/11/07/news/economy/jobs_october/index.htm?cnn=yes
I was a casualty of the tech boom so I’ve become very in tune with the warning signs of impending doom. Being employed in the financial sector, I see a great deal of the same indicators yet none of my co-workers share my concern…most feel I’m being paranoid. Maybe…but history is a good teacher if you pay attention to the lesson. It seems most Americans are also oblivious to the further declines and how weakness in several sectors will ripple through the entire economy resulting in job loss.
This time the game has changed because of the tightened credit market. Back in 2002 when I got laid-off, credit was freely available and many simply ran up credit cards balances to carry them through until they found new jobs. That’s not the case now so it puts everyone in peril if job loss is wide spread and sustained. Think about your property values if foreclosures were to surge in your neighborhood?
There will be no safe sectors this time around…even government jobs will be impacted. My friend is always searching for a government job because he believes it’s “lifetime” employment with a pension and no worries. I hate to burst his bubble but there are NO perfect jobs out there and no job is guaranteed forever. In some respects, I’d like to have the security of jobs back in the 50’s when you punched the clock, did your job and went home only to get up and do it again tomorrow. I think everyone wants that type of stability in life but it’s never going to happen again. Maybe one of my next posts will be on the impacts of globalization and how it set us on a path to lower standard of living in the US.
My father is fond of saying “the only thing that remains constant is change” and that’s absolutely true (and not always a bad thing). Change keeps us from becoming complacent and often leads to something much better on the other side…but the change itself can still be painful. No matter how much you like your job, cherish a possession or love someone you’ve got to be prepared to let it go because it will happen whether you like it or not. If the change is for the better, enjoy the moment. If it isn’t, cut it away and know that nothing lasts forever…not matter how much you want it to.
http://money.cnn.com/2008/11/07/news/economy/jobs_october/index.htm?cnn=yes
I was a casualty of the tech boom so I’ve become very in tune with the warning signs of impending doom. Being employed in the financial sector, I see a great deal of the same indicators yet none of my co-workers share my concern…most feel I’m being paranoid. Maybe…but history is a good teacher if you pay attention to the lesson. It seems most Americans are also oblivious to the further declines and how weakness in several sectors will ripple through the entire economy resulting in job loss.
This time the game has changed because of the tightened credit market. Back in 2002 when I got laid-off, credit was freely available and many simply ran up credit cards balances to carry them through until they found new jobs. That’s not the case now so it puts everyone in peril if job loss is wide spread and sustained. Think about your property values if foreclosures were to surge in your neighborhood?
There will be no safe sectors this time around…even government jobs will be impacted. My friend is always searching for a government job because he believes it’s “lifetime” employment with a pension and no worries. I hate to burst his bubble but there are NO perfect jobs out there and no job is guaranteed forever. In some respects, I’d like to have the security of jobs back in the 50’s when you punched the clock, did your job and went home only to get up and do it again tomorrow. I think everyone wants that type of stability in life but it’s never going to happen again. Maybe one of my next posts will be on the impacts of globalization and how it set us on a path to lower standard of living in the US.
My father is fond of saying “the only thing that remains constant is change” and that’s absolutely true (and not always a bad thing). Change keeps us from becoming complacent and often leads to something much better on the other side…but the change itself can still be painful. No matter how much you like your job, cherish a possession or love someone you’ve got to be prepared to let it go because it will happen whether you like it or not. If the change is for the better, enjoy the moment. If it isn’t, cut it away and know that nothing lasts forever…not matter how much you want it to.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Moment in History...
Last night's election ushered in a new chapter of American history at a time when people are clamoring for positive change and new direction. This need for change wasn't limited to just the highest office as we witnessed a historic transformation in my home state (NC) as Democrats won handily in almost all races. Elizabeth Dole was defeated by Kay Hagan as well as Pat McCrory being defeated by Bev Perdue. These are two notable races as one represents the lowest point in NC politics (Elizabeth Dole's ad declaring that Kay Hagan doesn't believe in God) and a new first with Bev Purdue becoming the first female governor of NC. The change was also felt at the local level as numerous offices once dominated by Republicans shifted to Democrats. It was a historic evening but now the real work begins...rebuilding public trust in our system, fixing our economy, fixing our immigration system, etc. These items have to be addressed and resolved or the promise of change becomes the promise of same.
One almost certain aspect of NC is a Republican win for President by popular (and Electoral) vote. This election has NC as the ONLY non-declared state due to the closeness of popular vote. This would have been unheard of just four years ago! Although it makes no difference how the state goes in Electoral votes, it may prove to be another important moment in history!
Now that the election has been decided, it's time for everyone to come together and start getting things done!
One almost certain aspect of NC is a Republican win for President by popular (and Electoral) vote. This election has NC as the ONLY non-declared state due to the closeness of popular vote. This would have been unheard of just four years ago! Although it makes no difference how the state goes in Electoral votes, it may prove to be another important moment in history!
Now that the election has been decided, it's time for everyone to come together and start getting things done!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
You've been warned...
As part of my work, I receive various security bulletins usually dealing with threat assessments, natural disasters and other assorted disruptions to daily life. Today's notice was particularly striking for it's depth of insight (hmmmm...) and also it's subtle undercurrent that large crowds of Obama supporters might be prone to violence in the Chicago area. Read the bulletin for yourself:
United States - U.S. to Hold Presidential Elections:
Today, Nov. 4, the U.S. is holding nationwide elections. Due to the historic and emotionally charged nature of the vote, authorities are preparing for possible localized security disturbances across the country in conjunction with potential post-election celebrations or protests. Serious violence appears unlikely but local and federal law enforcement agencies are tightening security in potential trouble spots as a precaution. These sites include several large metropolitan areas that have experienced unruly behavior and security problems in association with past sporting events, political rallies, court rulings and other tense events.
Rally in Chicago Tonight - Grant Park in downtown Chicago will host a large rally this evening. Authorities expect more than 70,000 people to gather in Hutchinson Field at the south end of the park for a ticketed event, while they anticipate that thousands of other participants will gather around the park. As many as 1 million people could attend the event. Security will be extremely tight, and police will block entry to the Hutchinson Field and Buckingham Fountain areas to anyone without a ticket. Expect severe travel disruptions in downtown Chicago. Heightened security measures are expected to be in place around the venue. As the rally has the potential to turn violent, particularly if Obama does not win, it is best to avoid all demonstration areas.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this but the most anger I've seen this election has been at Republican rallies! The Obama rallies have been about coming together and making a positive change with no mention or threat of anarchy and violence if he isn't elected. This bulletin makes inferences that sound stereotypical and potentially racist. Is the message that a "diverse" crowd is more likely to riot if they don't get their way as opposed to the predominantly white Republican audience? Maybe I'm making something out of nothing but the glaring lack of reference to the Republican rally raises my suspicions.
11/5/2008 Update: No scenes of violence amid the ocean of people gathered at Grant Park...black, white, hispanic, young, old...just people peacefully embracing a moment in American history. Last night's gathering was very different than the violent protests in Grant Park in 1968 but times, attitudes and opinions have truly changed in some respects...but, unfortunately, we are still short of the goal.
United States - U.S. to Hold Presidential Elections:
Today, Nov. 4, the U.S. is holding nationwide elections. Due to the historic and emotionally charged nature of the vote, authorities are preparing for possible localized security disturbances across the country in conjunction with potential post-election celebrations or protests. Serious violence appears unlikely but local and federal law enforcement agencies are tightening security in potential trouble spots as a precaution. These sites include several large metropolitan areas that have experienced unruly behavior and security problems in association with past sporting events, political rallies, court rulings and other tense events.
Rally in Chicago Tonight - Grant Park in downtown Chicago will host a large rally this evening. Authorities expect more than 70,000 people to gather in Hutchinson Field at the south end of the park for a ticketed event, while they anticipate that thousands of other participants will gather around the park. As many as 1 million people could attend the event. Security will be extremely tight, and police will block entry to the Hutchinson Field and Buckingham Fountain areas to anyone without a ticket. Expect severe travel disruptions in downtown Chicago. Heightened security measures are expected to be in place around the venue. As the rally has the potential to turn violent, particularly if Obama does not win, it is best to avoid all demonstration areas.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this but the most anger I've seen this election has been at Republican rallies! The Obama rallies have been about coming together and making a positive change with no mention or threat of anarchy and violence if he isn't elected. This bulletin makes inferences that sound stereotypical and potentially racist. Is the message that a "diverse" crowd is more likely to riot if they don't get their way as opposed to the predominantly white Republican audience? Maybe I'm making something out of nothing but the glaring lack of reference to the Republican rally raises my suspicions.
11/5/2008 Update: No scenes of violence amid the ocean of people gathered at Grant Park...black, white, hispanic, young, old...just people peacefully embracing a moment in American history. Last night's gathering was very different than the violent protests in Grant Park in 1968 but times, attitudes and opinions have truly changed in some respects...but, unfortunately, we are still short of the goal.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sarah...It's for you again
Hot off the presses...the FULL prank call of Palin:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=CcEiR01QK7o
Wow...let's hope that finger is never on the shiny red button that actually launches anything! Enjoy!
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=CcEiR01QK7o
Wow...let's hope that finger is never on the shiny red button that actually launches anything! Enjoy!
"You can't handle the truth...."
This election season has been filled with half-truths and outright lies by both candidates in their attempts to capture the highest office. Here's an interesting article to help set the record straight:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081103/ap_on_el_pr/fact_check_campaign_s_most_wanted
Wouldn't it be nice to have a camapign where the candidates told the truth and were only allowed to discuss what they would do if elected? The negative ads can influence those who are less informed or pre-disposed to hearing that type of message and it seems that many Americans will cast their vote based on faulty and downright incorrect information.
Maybe Americans are finally ready to put aside petty differences and hatred to hold a civilized campaign and election? Who am I kidding? It's not that we can't handle the truth....it's that most people don't care to hear or even believe it.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081103/ap_on_el_pr/fact_check_campaign_s_most_wanted
Wouldn't it be nice to have a camapign where the candidates told the truth and were only allowed to discuss what they would do if elected? The negative ads can influence those who are less informed or pre-disposed to hearing that type of message and it seems that many Americans will cast their vote based on faulty and downright incorrect information.
Maybe Americans are finally ready to put aside petty differences and hatred to hold a civilized campaign and election? Who am I kidding? It's not that we can't handle the truth....it's that most people don't care to hear or even believe it.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sarah, it's for you...
Just when you think Sister Sarah couldn’t provide any more interesting material than her appearance on SNL, her handlers let a prank call through and she goes unscripted:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27489929
The really funny thing here is that the caller “speaks in an exaggerated French accent and drops ample hints that the conversation is a joke. But Palin seemingly does not pick up on them”. The call is totally absurd and anyone with even a glimmer of intelligence would’ve either called them out or known it was a fake call. Maybe Palin believes that Sarkozy is as clueless as she is?
Here’s one of my favorite pieces of the article:
When Audette refers to Canadian singer Steph Carse as Canada's prime minister, Palin replies: "Well, he's doing fine and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder." Canada's prime minister is Stephen Harper.
I know most American’s know very little about Canadian politics but even yours truly knows that Stephen Harper is the PM. Maybe Palin missed that little fact but find that hard to believe since she responded once that she “reads them all” when asked what newspapers and magazines she reads on a regular basis. I’m surprised that she doesn’t know much about Canadian politics since you can see Canada from Alaska!
The one positive thing if McCain is elected on Tuesday is that comedians everywhere will have at least four solid years of material! Unfortunately, I’m note sure the rest of us can survive those four years…
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27489929
The really funny thing here is that the caller “speaks in an exaggerated French accent and drops ample hints that the conversation is a joke. But Palin seemingly does not pick up on them”. The call is totally absurd and anyone with even a glimmer of intelligence would’ve either called them out or known it was a fake call. Maybe Palin believes that Sarkozy is as clueless as she is?
Here’s one of my favorite pieces of the article:
When Audette refers to Canadian singer Steph Carse as Canada's prime minister, Palin replies: "Well, he's doing fine and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder." Canada's prime minister is Stephen Harper.
I know most American’s know very little about Canadian politics but even yours truly knows that Stephen Harper is the PM. Maybe Palin missed that little fact but find that hard to believe since she responded once that she “reads them all” when asked what newspapers and magazines she reads on a regular basis. I’m surprised that she doesn’t know much about Canadian politics since you can see Canada from Alaska!
The one positive thing if McCain is elected on Tuesday is that comedians everywhere will have at least four solid years of material! Unfortunately, I’m note sure the rest of us can survive those four years…
Get off the fence…then get out of my yard!
The unthinkable has happened…I've left my “neutral” status in the political race and cast my vote! After a mile and a half walk to the polling station and a two hour wait, I registered and voted my conscious. I’d tried to vote twice earlier in the week but the lines were so long and I (mistakenly) thought they would be shorter on Halloween only to discover the lines were constant no matter the time or day. This election has brought out many new voters and the previously apathetic (myself included) because the stakes are so high and the future of our country depends on the outcome.
This election is about more than the presidency…it is about shaping the future of the Supreme Court which will have greater impact long-term than the next President. Essentially, the balance of power will shift through the next appointments to the courts so America is deciding now if they want greater or less restrictions on personal freedom. The sides are clearly defined and each has their own agenda which leaves those of us in the middle with an interesting dilemma…which of my rights am I willing to sacrifice to ensure that other rights are retained? It’s a serious choice but it’s also indicative of the lack of true choices in our current political theater.
One of my major complaints about the current two party system is it doesn’t offer enough alternatives for the moderates. The Democratic Party has moved to the extreme left while the Republican Party has been hi-jacked by the ultra-conservative, religious wing nuts leaving no middle ground for the moderate, common sense American. It’s this extreme division that opens the door to a third party I’d like to call the “Common Sense” party…a place where all the moderates could go and elect other moderates who are strong enough to vote their conscious and not purely down political lines.
A great example of a once possible Common Sense Party candidate is John McCain…he was NOT a favorite of the conservatives and many outright refused to endorse him because he dared to employ common sense in some of his views. In order to secure a base, he abandoned his views and adopted the ultra-right wing views to secure the nomination. He also chose Palin as an obvious attempt to placate this group and garner their support knowing full well she was a ridiculous choice and totally unqualified for the role. He sacrificed his credibility, integrity and ultimately his chance to become President because he chose the extreme side of his party’s politics.
I’m also aware that Barack represents the extreme left view of the Democratic Party so not giving him a free pass. He will, however, be much more likely to strike a compromising position than McCain would if elected as the Democratic Party has a large base that is moderate. The Republican Party has less room for moderates and this idea is reinforced with the talk that Palin is the perfect choice for 2012 if McCain fails to win on Tuesday.
Regardless of which candidate you support for office, it’s critical to get out and vote in this election as much more than the highest office is at stake. If the lines are long, don’t complain as two hours in line every four years is a small price to pay for the freedoms you and I every single day. So get off the fence and vote your conscious!
This election is about more than the presidency…it is about shaping the future of the Supreme Court which will have greater impact long-term than the next President. Essentially, the balance of power will shift through the next appointments to the courts so America is deciding now if they want greater or less restrictions on personal freedom. The sides are clearly defined and each has their own agenda which leaves those of us in the middle with an interesting dilemma…which of my rights am I willing to sacrifice to ensure that other rights are retained? It’s a serious choice but it’s also indicative of the lack of true choices in our current political theater.
One of my major complaints about the current two party system is it doesn’t offer enough alternatives for the moderates. The Democratic Party has moved to the extreme left while the Republican Party has been hi-jacked by the ultra-conservative, religious wing nuts leaving no middle ground for the moderate, common sense American. It’s this extreme division that opens the door to a third party I’d like to call the “Common Sense” party…a place where all the moderates could go and elect other moderates who are strong enough to vote their conscious and not purely down political lines.
A great example of a once possible Common Sense Party candidate is John McCain…he was NOT a favorite of the conservatives and many outright refused to endorse him because he dared to employ common sense in some of his views. In order to secure a base, he abandoned his views and adopted the ultra-right wing views to secure the nomination. He also chose Palin as an obvious attempt to placate this group and garner their support knowing full well she was a ridiculous choice and totally unqualified for the role. He sacrificed his credibility, integrity and ultimately his chance to become President because he chose the extreme side of his party’s politics.
I’m also aware that Barack represents the extreme left view of the Democratic Party so not giving him a free pass. He will, however, be much more likely to strike a compromising position than McCain would if elected as the Democratic Party has a large base that is moderate. The Republican Party has less room for moderates and this idea is reinforced with the talk that Palin is the perfect choice for 2012 if McCain fails to win on Tuesday.
Regardless of which candidate you support for office, it’s critical to get out and vote in this election as much more than the highest office is at stake. If the lines are long, don’t complain as two hours in line every four years is a small price to pay for the freedoms you and I every single day. So get off the fence and vote your conscious!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Have you seen my Twinkie?
I originally started this entry on a really somber note because I’ve been struggling with how to end a friendship that seems to have run its course. After a few re-reads, it really started to sound like bad college poetry or some 80’s pop ballad…a few more metaphors and references to the changing of the seasons and it could've been the script to one of "those" commercials that always seems to come on TV when my parents visit (awkward). Seriously, I've struggled with this one because it can’t be tied off in a nice, neat bow and discarded. No, this will be not be a simple raising of the glass and toasting to old times never to be repeated but a conscious delivery of a death blow and all it’s aftermath…and my old (ex) friend will not take it well.
One of the true gifts that come with getting older is the ability to simply say “Enough” and be done with it. No need to ponder where things go when they die and why it happened…just an acceptance that everything has a shelf life whether you like it or not. You might say, “My God, that’s so cynical” and you’re probably right but who still has every friend they ever made? My only issue is dealing with the drama and figuring out how to spare my (ex) friend’s feelings as best I can…I'm a lot of things (cynical, jaded, whatever) but I do not hurt people if it can be avoided.
This friend didn’t do any one thing that tipped the scale as it was more a growing apart over the last year. We have very different lives, interests and outlooks on life (I’m the optimist in the friendship…I’m offended that you actually laughed out loud!) so The expiration date was clearly printed on the label.
I’ve not ventured into my personal life on the blog yet but the shelf life concept seems to apply to the women I date as well. My luck as of late has been B-A-D and they’ve had the shelf life of fresh bread. It wasn’t always this way as I’ve dated a couple with Pop-Tart shelf life. I’d like to meet the right girl and find a relationship with Twinkie shelf life…My God, that’s d*mn near forever! Of course, Twinkies are bad for you but they definitely satisfy so maybe it’s true that you have to take the good with the bad. I was complaining about metaphors earlier and here I’ve taken this entry all the way into junk food symbolizing the perfect relationship.
Sometimes you just have to accept certain things for face value no matter how much you’d like a different outcome. One of the cruelest ironies of life is balance…for all the beauty and goodness you experience, it will be balanced by an equal amount of pain and sorrow. That doesn’t mean you stop searching for your Twinkie…it means you enjoy the fresh bread (for what it is) while you search.
One of the true gifts that come with getting older is the ability to simply say “Enough” and be done with it. No need to ponder where things go when they die and why it happened…just an acceptance that everything has a shelf life whether you like it or not. You might say, “My God, that’s so cynical” and you’re probably right but who still has every friend they ever made? My only issue is dealing with the drama and figuring out how to spare my (ex) friend’s feelings as best I can…I'm a lot of things (cynical, jaded, whatever) but I do not hurt people if it can be avoided.
This friend didn’t do any one thing that tipped the scale as it was more a growing apart over the last year. We have very different lives, interests and outlooks on life (I’m the optimist in the friendship…I’m offended that you actually laughed out loud!) so The expiration date was clearly printed on the label.
I’ve not ventured into my personal life on the blog yet but the shelf life concept seems to apply to the women I date as well. My luck as of late has been B-A-D and they’ve had the shelf life of fresh bread. It wasn’t always this way as I’ve dated a couple with Pop-Tart shelf life. I’d like to meet the right girl and find a relationship with Twinkie shelf life…My God, that’s d*mn near forever! Of course, Twinkies are bad for you but they definitely satisfy so maybe it’s true that you have to take the good with the bad. I was complaining about metaphors earlier and here I’ve taken this entry all the way into junk food symbolizing the perfect relationship.
Sometimes you just have to accept certain things for face value no matter how much you’d like a different outcome. One of the cruelest ironies of life is balance…for all the beauty and goodness you experience, it will be balanced by an equal amount of pain and sorrow. That doesn’t mean you stop searching for your Twinkie…it means you enjoy the fresh bread (for what it is) while you search.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Truth in advertising...
I was attempting to watch TV last night but it was commercial after commercial for political candidates…I swear there were more commercials than actual programming. I wouldn’t mind if they were Super Bowl quality as it might be worth my time to see how they could spin their positions into something funny and entertaining. The truth is there's nothing funny about any of them and their plans so guess their commercials should be equally uninspired! I would, however, like to see the idea below turned into a commercial.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/27360516/?GT1=43001
Amy Borkowsky is trying to buy a Super Bowl ad to attract a man…the wrinkle is that it costs $3M and she’s a bit short (of the amount…not in height). For those who know me, they can attest to my continued bachelorhood in spite of all my efforts to find Ms. Right. I sympathize with her plight as I’ve had my fair share of mismatched set-ups (being single doesn’t make her perfect for me…), narcissists, super freaks and my personal favorite, “Like I could ever be interested in you…” girls who are holding out for Brad Pitt. For the last group, I often suggest a personal trainer, plastic surgery and a healthy dose of humility because no decent guy worth having would put up with that kind of self-absorbed bullsh*t.
Kudos to Amy as she seems grounded and realistic in her search….especially in evaluating what works for her:
“I’m not looking for Mr. Perfect,” she told a TODAY Show reporter Friday. “I’m looking for Mr. Perfect-for-Me.”
I’ve always advocated self-awareness and understanding of one’s self when looking for a partner because the “perfect by everyone else’s standard” person may not be the “perfect for you” person.
Now, what could ruin this great story…introducing Kathy Lee Gifford. Seems she has not disappeared into obscurity (as much as I had hoped she was gone from the public consciousness forever) but has a gig on the Today Show. In her typical asinine way, she fired off the following quote:
Gifford said, a bit sarcastically. “She’s probably a math whiz, too. I’m sorry, there’s a little bit of discrepancy between $1,000 and a million dollars. Give me her number. I will call her and talk to her. I am older and wiser now and I will talk to her.”
As a person who uses statistics every single day in my job, I have to ask, “What the hell’s wrong with being a math whiz?” When did being smart become a liability?
Of course, the idiocy continued as she proceeded to dispense some sage wisdom:
“She should go to her local church or her local synagogue or her local bowling alley and meet a nice guy who’s looking for a nice girl,” she said.
Huh? Local bowling alley? First, I’ve NEVER seen a bowling alley in Manhattan. Secondly, why would anyone take relationship advice from a woman who’s husband repeatedly cheated on her (he did some FREAKY things with his flight attendant mistress in case you forgot the sordid details) and then she stayed with him! Sorry Kathie Lee but your right to give advice on relationships expired at the moment you gave up your self-respect and last shred of dignity to keep a philandering husband for the dollars.
The other host of the show had equally awful advice:
“You don’t want someone who you’re going to meet on a Super Bowl ad,” Kotb added.
The second rule of dating is never discount the method/place you meet someone as you never know where “perfect for me” is going to pop up. To make a statement like the one above only confirms why the host is still single…you limit your choices then you limit your success. It’s as simple as that…
Maybe I’ll send her a few dollars as I applaud the initiative (don’t know that she’ll find her perfect person but I'm sure it will be a great story) because she's at least trying and that’s all you can really do at the end of the day…It’s all any of us can do.
If you want to contribute or just want to know more about Amy: superbowlsinglegirl.com (pass it on!)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/27360516/?GT1=43001
Amy Borkowsky is trying to buy a Super Bowl ad to attract a man…the wrinkle is that it costs $3M and she’s a bit short (of the amount…not in height). For those who know me, they can attest to my continued bachelorhood in spite of all my efforts to find Ms. Right. I sympathize with her plight as I’ve had my fair share of mismatched set-ups (being single doesn’t make her perfect for me…), narcissists, super freaks and my personal favorite, “Like I could ever be interested in you…” girls who are holding out for Brad Pitt. For the last group, I often suggest a personal trainer, plastic surgery and a healthy dose of humility because no decent guy worth having would put up with that kind of self-absorbed bullsh*t.
Kudos to Amy as she seems grounded and realistic in her search….especially in evaluating what works for her:
“I’m not looking for Mr. Perfect,” she told a TODAY Show reporter Friday. “I’m looking for Mr. Perfect-for-Me.”
I’ve always advocated self-awareness and understanding of one’s self when looking for a partner because the “perfect by everyone else’s standard” person may not be the “perfect for you” person.
Now, what could ruin this great story…introducing Kathy Lee Gifford. Seems she has not disappeared into obscurity (as much as I had hoped she was gone from the public consciousness forever) but has a gig on the Today Show. In her typical asinine way, she fired off the following quote:
Gifford said, a bit sarcastically. “She’s probably a math whiz, too. I’m sorry, there’s a little bit of discrepancy between $1,000 and a million dollars. Give me her number. I will call her and talk to her. I am older and wiser now and I will talk to her.”
As a person who uses statistics every single day in my job, I have to ask, “What the hell’s wrong with being a math whiz?” When did being smart become a liability?
Of course, the idiocy continued as she proceeded to dispense some sage wisdom:
“She should go to her local church or her local synagogue or her local bowling alley and meet a nice guy who’s looking for a nice girl,” she said.
Huh? Local bowling alley? First, I’ve NEVER seen a bowling alley in Manhattan. Secondly, why would anyone take relationship advice from a woman who’s husband repeatedly cheated on her (he did some FREAKY things with his flight attendant mistress in case you forgot the sordid details) and then she stayed with him! Sorry Kathie Lee but your right to give advice on relationships expired at the moment you gave up your self-respect and last shred of dignity to keep a philandering husband for the dollars.
The other host of the show had equally awful advice:
“You don’t want someone who you’re going to meet on a Super Bowl ad,” Kotb added.
The second rule of dating is never discount the method/place you meet someone as you never know where “perfect for me” is going to pop up. To make a statement like the one above only confirms why the host is still single…you limit your choices then you limit your success. It’s as simple as that…
Maybe I’ll send her a few dollars as I applaud the initiative (don’t know that she’ll find her perfect person but I'm sure it will be a great story) because she's at least trying and that’s all you can really do at the end of the day…It’s all any of us can do.
If you want to contribute or just want to know more about Amy: superbowlsinglegirl.com (pass it on!)
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Dear John...
Is it just me or have the Republicans all but conceded that McCain cannot win the election? The infighting and the "every man for himself" approach seems to be the order of the day across the entire party and most prominently with Sarah Palin.
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/10/25/mccain-aide-palin-going-rogue/#more-26388
Sarah Palin's political past is littered with those she befriended, used and then betrayed to build her own career. She has settled personal scores through her office, awarded contracts/jobs to the obviously under to non-qualified and basically charged Alaska for her expenses at every turn. McCain tapped her for the role to appeal to disenfranchised female voters and the ultra-conservative religious wing nuts that didn't trust him. He didn't vet her past or ask any pressing questions because he only saw the immediate goal of boosting his ratings among Republicans. A tag line was needed so they revived "Sarah Barracuda" but maybe he should have looked at her past a bit more closely to see that she is really "Sarah Piranha" looking for her next opportunity to promote herself as a presidential candidate in 2012. The McCain campaign has finally been clued into the joke and it's sobering punch line:
A second McCain source tells CNN she appears to now be looking out for herself more than the McCain campaign.
“She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone,” said this McCain adviser, “she does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else. Also she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember: divas trust only unto themselves as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom.”
I'm not against personal ambition as it’s what motivates people to achieve great things but you absolutely must have some level of proficiency in world affairs/politics to be President. The position requires our leader to have answers to very tough, ambiguous questions which affect millions of Americans and the perception of this country around the world. There are only 2 viewpoints on her qualifications (qualified/grossly unqualified) but I have great reservations with any candidate that can't answer basic questions:
A Palin associate defended her by saying she is “not good at process questions” and that her comments on Michigan and the robo calls were answers to process questions.
This type of "excuse" is unacceptable for a person seeking higher office...especially someone who is one step away from having to sit in the big chair and answer the tough questions without a script or coaching.
Let's put it on the table...John McCain is old and could potentially die in office elevating her to the Presidency. Maybe that's her take on the ticket...join now and if he dies in office then she becomes the President by default. The worst case is she gains the opportunity to get 4 years of experience “leading” the senate. Or maybe her goal has shifted to simply set the works in motion for a 2012 run against Obama because this election is already conceded? Only she knows the answer but I guarantee she will not be able to escape the difficult questions if she actually has to be elected President.
Update: New quote...seems I am not the only one thinking about McCain's age.
"Her numbers have plummeted in our poll ... what's more 55 percent think she's unqualified to serve as president if the need arises, which is a troublesome number given McCain's age," said NBC political director Chuck Todd.
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/10/25/mccain-aide-palin-going-rogue/#more-26388
Sarah Palin's political past is littered with those she befriended, used and then betrayed to build her own career. She has settled personal scores through her office, awarded contracts/jobs to the obviously under to non-qualified and basically charged Alaska for her expenses at every turn. McCain tapped her for the role to appeal to disenfranchised female voters and the ultra-conservative religious wing nuts that didn't trust him. He didn't vet her past or ask any pressing questions because he only saw the immediate goal of boosting his ratings among Republicans. A tag line was needed so they revived "Sarah Barracuda" but maybe he should have looked at her past a bit more closely to see that she is really "Sarah Piranha" looking for her next opportunity to promote herself as a presidential candidate in 2012. The McCain campaign has finally been clued into the joke and it's sobering punch line:
A second McCain source tells CNN she appears to now be looking out for herself more than the McCain campaign.
“She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone,” said this McCain adviser, “she does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else. Also she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember: divas trust only unto themselves as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom.”
I'm not against personal ambition as it’s what motivates people to achieve great things but you absolutely must have some level of proficiency in world affairs/politics to be President. The position requires our leader to have answers to very tough, ambiguous questions which affect millions of Americans and the perception of this country around the world. There are only 2 viewpoints on her qualifications (qualified/grossly unqualified) but I have great reservations with any candidate that can't answer basic questions:
A Palin associate defended her by saying she is “not good at process questions” and that her comments on Michigan and the robo calls were answers to process questions.
This type of "excuse" is unacceptable for a person seeking higher office...especially someone who is one step away from having to sit in the big chair and answer the tough questions without a script or coaching.
Let's put it on the table...John McCain is old and could potentially die in office elevating her to the Presidency. Maybe that's her take on the ticket...join now and if he dies in office then she becomes the President by default. The worst case is she gains the opportunity to get 4 years of experience “leading” the senate. Or maybe her goal has shifted to simply set the works in motion for a 2012 run against Obama because this election is already conceded? Only she knows the answer but I guarantee she will not be able to escape the difficult questions if she actually has to be elected President.
Update: New quote...seems I am not the only one thinking about McCain's age.
"Her numbers have plummeted in our poll ... what's more 55 percent think she's unqualified to serve as president if the need arises, which is a troublesome number given McCain's age," said NBC political director Chuck Todd.
Say it ain't so Joe...
It seems this campaign season is all about people named Joe...everyone from Joe Biden to Joe Six Pack to Joe the Plumber. Just when you think we can't squeeze in another Joe, we get this offering from Joe McCain:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/10/24/mccain.brother.911.call.wjla
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081025/ap_on_el_pr/joe_mccain911
Seems this Joe has his brother's temper and decided that he was too important to wait in traffic with everyone else. Given his voice mail greeting, I might have to agree since he isn't available due to involvement in an "important family political project". His response to the VM is classic as he is angry that a lowly operator called him back to let him know his use of 911 was bordering on criminal. How dare that person call him...don't they know who he is?
After he cooled down, Joe did acknowledge it was a mistake but find his "apology" a bit lacking...Joe McCain said: "I feel terrible about having hurt the campaign over this incident. I won't be doing any more campaigning because of that." That's not really an apology and there is no sense of remorse for his actions outside of his fear that he may have hurt his brother's chances at becoming President. No worries Joe as I think John has done a fine job of torpedoing his own campaign and you’re not important enough to make a difference...even if you think you are.
Speaking of Joe the Plumber, it seems he is now actively considering a bid for Congress. Maybe he should check out the unscientific poll on CNN that shows 84% would NOT vote for him. Even though the poll isn’t statistically valid, it is a good barometer on the pulse of people in general and we are all saying (loudly) “Please go away….now!” Once the election is over, he will fade away into oblivion so maybe he better change his VM message to let the world know he is on “important political business” while he still has the opportunity.
Please don’t think I am against all people named Joe…quite the opposite. I happen to like quite a few people named Joe…like Joe Satriani, Joe Frazier and even Joe Piscapo on occasion. At least these guys are smart enough to know that simply being named Joe doesn’t make them qualified for public service. OK, somebody may need to call Piscapo...
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/10/24/mccain.brother.911.call.wjla
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081025/ap_on_el_pr/joe_mccain911
Seems this Joe has his brother's temper and decided that he was too important to wait in traffic with everyone else. Given his voice mail greeting, I might have to agree since he isn't available due to involvement in an "important family political project". His response to the VM is classic as he is angry that a lowly operator called him back to let him know his use of 911 was bordering on criminal. How dare that person call him...don't they know who he is?
After he cooled down, Joe did acknowledge it was a mistake but find his "apology" a bit lacking...Joe McCain said: "I feel terrible about having hurt the campaign over this incident. I won't be doing any more campaigning because of that." That's not really an apology and there is no sense of remorse for his actions outside of his fear that he may have hurt his brother's chances at becoming President. No worries Joe as I think John has done a fine job of torpedoing his own campaign and you’re not important enough to make a difference...even if you think you are.
Speaking of Joe the Plumber, it seems he is now actively considering a bid for Congress. Maybe he should check out the unscientific poll on CNN that shows 84% would NOT vote for him. Even though the poll isn’t statistically valid, it is a good barometer on the pulse of people in general and we are all saying (loudly) “Please go away….now!” Once the election is over, he will fade away into oblivion so maybe he better change his VM message to let the world know he is on “important political business” while he still has the opportunity.
Please don’t think I am against all people named Joe…quite the opposite. I happen to like quite a few people named Joe…like Joe Satriani, Joe Frazier and even Joe Piscapo on occasion. At least these guys are smart enough to know that simply being named Joe doesn’t make them qualified for public service. OK, somebody may need to call Piscapo...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
T-minus 10 and counting...
Down to the final 10 days before the election (OK...11 days but I am so close to midnight I'll write off today) and the media blitz has been escalated to obscene levels. Both sides are bombarding the airwaves with ads and automated calls to the point that one news report indicated people were getting dozens of auto calls a day. I wasn't a poli-sci major at university but common sense should tell the campaigns that a dozen calls interrupting someone's life is probably not going to get them to vote for your candidate.
Maybe this is just another sign of how the candidates are not in touch with working America? I'm incredibly busy just trying to do more with less in this down economy and hold on to the job I have because there is no $150 million dollar savings account waiting for me. This is reality for all but the top 1% of America but we are being asked to choose between millionaires who really don't understand what it is like to lose sleep worrying about the future. I've been very fortunate in my life but know many who have not been and it angers me to see politicians playing on fears and spreading false promises simply to capture a vote.
I am especially disappointed in the McCain ads (and the larger Republican ad approach) for fostering suspicion and fear through half-truth and inferences all the while providing nothing positive to the race. I've always believed that if you have a strong position then you don't need to take cheap shots at your opponent. Of course, McCain is now taking cheap shots within his own party as he's claiming that W has been a total failure (On this point, I completely agree!) and that he will not be another George W if elected. The only problem here is that he has voted with W. over 90% of the time so it's a bit late for the feigned anger and demands for change. Is that what it means to be a maverick? You ride with the herd while your party is in power but when it suits your own self-interest, you decide to stand against the status quo. It's a bit short-sighted and much too late to have any impact for McCain as he is squarely aligned with W. even though he personally HATES the man.
The hate in their love/hate relationship was cemented in the SC primary in 2000. George attacked John in the most vile ways such as spreading the rumor that John had an illegitimate, black daughter (Fact Check: He adopted a child from another country. The race element was incredibly important in SC as old fears and hatred are never far from the surface) and this was the turning point that lead to George securing the nomination. Here's the irony of the situation, the John McCain of 2000 would have been an EXCELLENT leader for this country. He had bold ideas and was very much a moderate willing to compromise for the good of this nation...his biggest liability back then was his uncontrolled temper. The negativity of that campaign set the standard for future Republican campaigns and it has been repeatedly employed in this campaign. In another bit of irony, McCain now employs the same people who ran the negative, false ads against him during the 2000 campaign. They say politics makes for strange bed fellows but I would have a very hard time shaking the hands of anyone whose sole purpose eight year prior was to attack me and my family. Maybe it’s just another example of McCain becoming the man who defeated him in 2000.
Maybe this is just another sign of how the candidates are not in touch with working America? I'm incredibly busy just trying to do more with less in this down economy and hold on to the job I have because there is no $150 million dollar savings account waiting for me. This is reality for all but the top 1% of America but we are being asked to choose between millionaires who really don't understand what it is like to lose sleep worrying about the future. I've been very fortunate in my life but know many who have not been and it angers me to see politicians playing on fears and spreading false promises simply to capture a vote.
I am especially disappointed in the McCain ads (and the larger Republican ad approach) for fostering suspicion and fear through half-truth and inferences all the while providing nothing positive to the race. I've always believed that if you have a strong position then you don't need to take cheap shots at your opponent. Of course, McCain is now taking cheap shots within his own party as he's claiming that W has been a total failure (On this point, I completely agree!) and that he will not be another George W if elected. The only problem here is that he has voted with W. over 90% of the time so it's a bit late for the feigned anger and demands for change. Is that what it means to be a maverick? You ride with the herd while your party is in power but when it suits your own self-interest, you decide to stand against the status quo. It's a bit short-sighted and much too late to have any impact for McCain as he is squarely aligned with W. even though he personally HATES the man.
The hate in their love/hate relationship was cemented in the SC primary in 2000. George attacked John in the most vile ways such as spreading the rumor that John had an illegitimate, black daughter (Fact Check: He adopted a child from another country. The race element was incredibly important in SC as old fears and hatred are never far from the surface) and this was the turning point that lead to George securing the nomination. Here's the irony of the situation, the John McCain of 2000 would have been an EXCELLENT leader for this country. He had bold ideas and was very much a moderate willing to compromise for the good of this nation...his biggest liability back then was his uncontrolled temper. The negativity of that campaign set the standard for future Republican campaigns and it has been repeatedly employed in this campaign. In another bit of irony, McCain now employs the same people who ran the negative, false ads against him during the 2000 campaign. They say politics makes for strange bed fellows but I would have a very hard time shaking the hands of anyone whose sole purpose eight year prior was to attack me and my family. Maybe it’s just another example of McCain becoming the man who defeated him in 2000.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Obama of Sherwood Forest
After carefully avoiding this pitfall for the entire campaign, Obama finally said the word that all conservatives have been patiently waiting to interject into the campaign. Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s talk about socialism. As my friends know, I am a fairly moderate to left leaning person even though I maintain no political affiliations but have no tolerance for socialistic policy in our current society. Here’s why…
Socialism (on paper) is designed to ensure that everyone shares in the wealth and that we all enjoy a better standard of living. The major flaw is that it assumes ALL people will work equally hard to achieve their goals and that’s just not true. There will always be people who want to do nothing (i.e. Welfare “lifers”, guests on Jerry Springer, etc.) which means a portion of the money you worked so hard to earn will be used to carry the slackers who are content to receive a handout. As a “producer”, I have a serious problem with this scenario! I’m all for helping out people when they need a hand (short term only) but do NOT believe in redistributing the wealth as it punishes those who took initiative and achieved success. The next step after socialist policy is the introduction of Marxist ideology and we all know how well Communism has worked out for Russia and China.
I’ve long held the belief of equilibrium in most aspects of life and the economic arena is no different. Think of it like this, if you are killing yourself to advance only to see a large portion of your success taken from you to be given to those who choose to do nothing then how long are you really going to continue down your current path? Probably not too long (and if you do then I have a rock that needs to be moved to the top of a hill…) so you start to slide closer to the center because you produce less. You might say that’s OK because the center is still pretty good but don’t forget that all of the other successful people are doing the same so the center begins to fall. As more people “give up” the center goes even lower and lower. The end condition is a welfare state where no one has a desire to innovate or produce anything because anyone who produces will be taxed at an obscene rate to cover the spread for those who do nothing. At this point, no one works and our civilization collapses under the weight of our own socialistic ideology.
I don’t think the introduction of the word “Socialism” into the campaign will cause any disruption to the Obama machine as the momentum is way too strong. On that point, I don’t think the Republicans are offering anything better…only a different strategy with the same ends of screwing the middle class over and leaving us with the hangover from their spending party. Socialism isn’t the answer in a free society because people have free will so it’s time to look for better answers than the Robin Hood mentality of taking from the rich to give to the poor.
Esc
Socialism (on paper) is designed to ensure that everyone shares in the wealth and that we all enjoy a better standard of living. The major flaw is that it assumes ALL people will work equally hard to achieve their goals and that’s just not true. There will always be people who want to do nothing (i.e. Welfare “lifers”, guests on Jerry Springer, etc.) which means a portion of the money you worked so hard to earn will be used to carry the slackers who are content to receive a handout. As a “producer”, I have a serious problem with this scenario! I’m all for helping out people when they need a hand (short term only) but do NOT believe in redistributing the wealth as it punishes those who took initiative and achieved success. The next step after socialist policy is the introduction of Marxist ideology and we all know how well Communism has worked out for Russia and China.
I’ve long held the belief of equilibrium in most aspects of life and the economic arena is no different. Think of it like this, if you are killing yourself to advance only to see a large portion of your success taken from you to be given to those who choose to do nothing then how long are you really going to continue down your current path? Probably not too long (and if you do then I have a rock that needs to be moved to the top of a hill…) so you start to slide closer to the center because you produce less. You might say that’s OK because the center is still pretty good but don’t forget that all of the other successful people are doing the same so the center begins to fall. As more people “give up” the center goes even lower and lower. The end condition is a welfare state where no one has a desire to innovate or produce anything because anyone who produces will be taxed at an obscene rate to cover the spread for those who do nothing. At this point, no one works and our civilization collapses under the weight of our own socialistic ideology.
I don’t think the introduction of the word “Socialism” into the campaign will cause any disruption to the Obama machine as the momentum is way too strong. On that point, I don’t think the Republicans are offering anything better…only a different strategy with the same ends of screwing the middle class over and leaving us with the hangover from their spending party. Socialism isn’t the answer in a free society because people have free will so it’s time to look for better answers than the Robin Hood mentality of taking from the rich to give to the poor.
Esc
Friday, October 17, 2008
Jeez Andy, why couldn’t it be 15 seconds of fame?
I am consistently amazed by our ADD society and how anyone can have their 15 minutes of fame for something as simple as asking a question. Of course, I am talking about “Joe Plumber” and the incessant media coverage of both his life and views. Normally, this is expected and it dies out soon enough only to be a foot note in history or, at best, a trivial pursuit question that no one can answer. Quick, who was the woman in the Wendy’s commercial who said “Where’s the beef”? Smile if you answered Clara Peller…you’re either old or a nerd (or both)! For those wishing to revisit 1984 or have never heard of “Where’s the Beef” then click the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug75diEyiA0
I have nothing against this guy especially since he’s determined to make more of himself than he is right now…that’s what everyone should be doing! I can even get past the fact the guy is working without a license (I believe that’s illegal…) and he owes the state of Ohio a few dollars in back taxes as it’s not the real issue. The real issue is that people are starting to think this guy is qualified to run for Congress! Since when did asking a question qualify a person to serve in a leadership position? It seems that a gentleman named Trevor Lair with the Massachusetts College Republicans is circulating an Internet petition to put this guy on the Ohio state ballot. His reasoning is that Samuel represents the “real-world perspective and the right attitude to clean up the mess on Capitol Hill”. Maybe Samuel has some hidden talent for politics but I’m guessing that installing toilets and faucets all day has not bestowed the man with any real insight into the inner working of the political machine or world events. Frankly, I see it a desperation move by the Republicans to try to relate to the people they have for so long stepped upon to benefit the top 1% of America. Maybe they believe the American people (or just the people of Ohio) are so superficial that we would vote for someone because they asked a question? Maybe people would vote for him but I’m quite sure they would quickly be made aware of his shortcomings when he stepped up to the podium in Washington…and then it’s too late. I’ve said for much of this campaign that if the Republicans want to show the American people that they are in touch with our needs then deliver a candidate that has solid, innovative, effective ideas to turn the country around and move it forward. Palin was a serious mistake and adding Joe Plumber to the mix only adds insult to injury. Even Sarah Palin has asked her handlers to forgo mentioning his name at rallies…maybe she’s afraid people will want Joe Plumber next to McCain instead of her? Either way, neither is qualified to lead this country even if they both love it and have the best intentions at heart. For people’s comments on Joe’s bid for Congress, click the link: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/10/17/campaign-to-%e2%80%98plunge-the-crap-out-of-washington%e2%80%99/#comments
For those that think I am solidly against the republicans, your wrong…I just haven’t had time to write about the Democrats yet but will very soon. The political slant of my blog will shift once the election is over so bear with me. Until next time…
Esc
10-19-2008 Update: Seems Joe is angry with the continued media attention and their deep dive into his shallow life. He wants them to go away and let him live in peace...Hey Joe, that might happen if you'd stop granting interviews and not agree to appear with McCain on the campaign trail. Common sense...
I have nothing against this guy especially since he’s determined to make more of himself than he is right now…that’s what everyone should be doing! I can even get past the fact the guy is working without a license (I believe that’s illegal…) and he owes the state of Ohio a few dollars in back taxes as it’s not the real issue. The real issue is that people are starting to think this guy is qualified to run for Congress! Since when did asking a question qualify a person to serve in a leadership position? It seems that a gentleman named Trevor Lair with the Massachusetts College Republicans is circulating an Internet petition to put this guy on the Ohio state ballot. His reasoning is that Samuel represents the “real-world perspective and the right attitude to clean up the mess on Capitol Hill”. Maybe Samuel has some hidden talent for politics but I’m guessing that installing toilets and faucets all day has not bestowed the man with any real insight into the inner working of the political machine or world events. Frankly, I see it a desperation move by the Republicans to try to relate to the people they have for so long stepped upon to benefit the top 1% of America. Maybe they believe the American people (or just the people of Ohio) are so superficial that we would vote for someone because they asked a question? Maybe people would vote for him but I’m quite sure they would quickly be made aware of his shortcomings when he stepped up to the podium in Washington…and then it’s too late. I’ve said for much of this campaign that if the Republicans want to show the American people that they are in touch with our needs then deliver a candidate that has solid, innovative, effective ideas to turn the country around and move it forward. Palin was a serious mistake and adding Joe Plumber to the mix only adds insult to injury. Even Sarah Palin has asked her handlers to forgo mentioning his name at rallies…maybe she’s afraid people will want Joe Plumber next to McCain instead of her? Either way, neither is qualified to lead this country even if they both love it and have the best intentions at heart. For people’s comments on Joe’s bid for Congress, click the link: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/10/17/campaign-to-%e2%80%98plunge-the-crap-out-of-washington%e2%80%99/#comments
For those that think I am solidly against the republicans, your wrong…I just haven’t had time to write about the Democrats yet but will very soon. The political slant of my blog will shift once the election is over so bear with me. Until next time…
Esc
10-19-2008 Update: Seems Joe is angry with the continued media attention and their deep dive into his shallow life. He wants them to go away and let him live in peace...Hey Joe, that might happen if you'd stop granting interviews and not agree to appear with McCain on the campaign trail. Common sense...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wisdom of Floyd
Seems everyone is fascinated with Sarah Palin and the idea that she could some day become the President of the United States. Maybe it's her folksy, down-home schtick or the idea that she's "one of the people" who can relate to the average Joe Six Pack working a job that he hates to make a meager wage just to get up tomorrow and do it all again? She does have the folksy, down-home thing happening but so did Floyd the barber on the Andy Griffith show! Before anyone hates me for bringing Floyd into the discussion, he's one of my favorite characters on the show (Barney still made that show...it's true). There are certain qualities I want in the leader of the greatest country in the free world and folksy, down-home sayings isn't one of them! Forgive me for wanting some substance and not the rheotic/hate mongering speeches that are currently defining McCain's campaign. It's a sad testament that it has become about attacks and not an examination of who is best suited to lead our country...but that's not how politics is currently played and our country is the worse for it.
For the past eight years, I have cringed every single time I've seen W. on television representing our country. He has done more damage to our world reputation than anyone I can remember and I see a lot of him in Palin. The cluelessness when he doesn't have a script, the pandering to the religious right (and their goal to impose their will on everyone!) and the thought that war solves all issues with other countries. Seems we are being asked to trade the Wild West approach for the Frontier approach and neither is what we need to rebuild this country. We need strong leadership and I seriously do not think it is possible in our current political system.
Floyd once said "never accept a wooden nickel" and Sarah Palin is a wooden nickel. You betcha!
Esc
For the past eight years, I have cringed every single time I've seen W. on television representing our country. He has done more damage to our world reputation than anyone I can remember and I see a lot of him in Palin. The cluelessness when he doesn't have a script, the pandering to the religious right (and their goal to impose their will on everyone!) and the thought that war solves all issues with other countries. Seems we are being asked to trade the Wild West approach for the Frontier approach and neither is what we need to rebuild this country. We need strong leadership and I seriously do not think it is possible in our current political system.
Floyd once said "never accept a wooden nickel" and Sarah Palin is a wooden nickel. You betcha!
Esc
First meetings warrant an introduction...
Welcome to the first installment of my new blog!
Why blog? My friend asked that question when I first disclosed my intention to start this little experiment. Not sure I have a solid answer but probably because of my love for composition (my undergrad degree is in English) and I've been away from my creative side for too long. The intent of this blog is to provide a snap shot of the things happening in my life as well as a place to post some opinions on current events/people/relationships/politics/everything.
Who am I? I'm an average guy working a normal professional job trying to make it to my so-called retirement while having a bit of fun along the way. I'm not affliated with any political party (all are fair game for my opinions) and like to think my viewpoints are based in logic/reason and a healthy dose of common sense. Not going to give you all the details now (that's what future posts are for!) so let's move on and get started...
Esc
Why blog? My friend asked that question when I first disclosed my intention to start this little experiment. Not sure I have a solid answer but probably because of my love for composition (my undergrad degree is in English) and I've been away from my creative side for too long. The intent of this blog is to provide a snap shot of the things happening in my life as well as a place to post some opinions on current events/people/relationships/politics/everything.
Who am I? I'm an average guy working a normal professional job trying to make it to my so-called retirement while having a bit of fun along the way. I'm not affliated with any political party (all are fair game for my opinions) and like to think my viewpoints are based in logic/reason and a healthy dose of common sense. Not going to give you all the details now (that's what future posts are for!) so let's move on and get started...
Esc
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