Relationship PDP

The time has come for the Relationship PDP to become standard operating procedure for all couples! For those of you not in HR (Human Resources), PDP stands for Performance Development Plan which is a tool used to measure a person’s performance towards achieving specific, pre-defined, time bound deliverables. If you work for a company of any size, you have one of these (it may be called something different) and it's used to determine your raise, bonus payout and your continued employment. Why not introduce this valuable tool into your relationship(s)?

How many times have you asked yourself why your partner repeatedly fails to hold up their end of the deal even though it has been discussed too many times? The answer is very simple….no consequences for poor performance! The PDP defines their role/responsibilities so there is no gray area or chance for misunderstanding because everyone agrees to the contents of the PDP before it goes into effect.

Let’s say your partner continually ignores his/her household chores, you can quietly fume while carrying the burden OR you can break out the PDP informing him/her that their performance is sub-par and must be corrected or there will be consequences. You’re not being the “bad guy” because you’ve pre-defined the deliverables so your partner has no excuses and can’t claim ignorance because he/she agreed to the terms. If your partner continues to demonstrate sub-par performance then it’s time to activate the penalty phase and show him/her that you mean business!

The PDP can also be used to help discuss subjects that are sometimes a bit sensitive or embarrassing and set reasonable expectations around performance. Let’s say you’re envious of a GEICO commercial because, unlike your partner, it can go a FULL 30 seconds before it’s finished. That’s a touchy topic that could be very difficult to discuss under normal circumstances but not if you have a PDP. The expectations have been set up front so "quick draw" knows that if his/her performance doesn’t improve then there will be consequences.

The true benefit of the PDP is that rewards/bonuses can be set for exceptional performance. Let’s say you meet all your deliverables then it’s time to activate the “bonus” clause…which can be anything from a special purchase, a trip, more conjugal visits (or less conjugal visits depending on your relationship), etc. The whole point is to reward your partner for holding up their end of the deal and reinforce positive behavior.

It’s funny how relationships always start out with both people being so attentive to each others needs but, over time, we all fall into the trap of familiarity. We get busy, tired, disconnected and lose focus so the need for the Relationship PDP has arrived. You may think you don't need it but you do...