Pro-V Superstar...

Ever have one of those days where you feel like you’re walking through a TV commercial? It’s like when I was walking down Madison Avenue and ran into the Burger King…big plastic head and all! I had one of those moments the other night when I met the Pro-V Superstar…we’ll call him Sampson.

It was a cloudy Thursday evening when Sampson walked in with a small group of people. He was part of the group but separate at the same time…somehow different, better than the rest. It was his shoulder length, shiny, black hair. Dress codes be damned…he wasn’t afraid to show the Man his contempt for the well-groomed in the workplace.

I didn’t pay much attention to him at first but that soon changed as the group started scoping out seats right across from me. Normally, I don’t care but tonight was different as I couldn’t afford to be distracted…No, tonight I needed space and I definitely didn’t need to see Sampson sitting right across from me with his shoulder length, shiny, black hair.

My date for the evening (We’ll call her Delilah) sensed the impending doom of having this band of miscreant, bed-wetting, momma’s boys sitting near us and quickly moved a bag to make space for them at the other end of the bar. Crisis averted but here’s where things get interesting!

Out of the blue, Sampson proceeds to flip his hair like a supermodel (a FEMALE supermodel)! I could only think of the old Pantene commercials from the 90’s where she throws her hair back while running her hands down the length. He mirrored her motion but couldn’t stop at once, not twice, not even three times but an amazing five times! If this act of self-love had gone on any longer it would have required a parental advisory sticker.

On the fifth flip, he was ready to take on the world with his shoulder length, shiny, black hair securely behind his ears…just like when he walked in! He was on the prowl but, unfortunately for him, the place was virtually empty. Maybe his goal was to impress Delilah? Somehow, I don’t think it worked.

Let’s fast forward to the end of the evening as I met Sampson (alone) outside smoking a cigarette in the rain. I passed by on my way back into the night but not without saying, “Love the hair…I absolutely love the hair”. Was this beginning of a man crush much like EP’s “mush” for the Barilla guy? Probably not but given how hard he’d tried to impress everyone with his shoulder length, shiny, black hair he deserved a moment of recognition (validation?).

I couldn’t help but think about how he’d have been famous in the 90’s had he known kung-fu or maybe lived in Seattle and started a band. No man needs real talent when he has shoulder length, shiny, black hair. Maybe he would have gotten his own Pantene commercial? Maybe he could have gone over to L’Oreal? Sounds reasonable because we all know he’s worth it!