Who is this Mr. Nice Guy?

Dating is a relatively enjoyable experience once you’re established…it’s initially finding the person that’s complicated, frustrating and often disappointing (not to mention expensive). People always seem to be interested in everyone but the person who’s interested in them! There’s nothing wrong with this as no one should “settle” for “Mr./Ms. Not-Nearly-Good-Enough” simply to avoid being single. My biggest issue is trying to find women who appreciate my “type” as it seems very few women do.

Imagine my surprise when I read that Jennifer Love Hewitt is all about geeks! Of course, if it hadn’t said she liked geeks in the title I’d have never clicked on it! It was a proud and momentous day in Geekdom the likes of which has not been known since the days following the release of “Revenge of the Nerds”. For a fleeting moment, it seemed possible for an average guy to date a beautiful woman but then reality comes crashing back down as she is only ONE person…and taken. (Before the masses cry out “Shallow!” for the beautiful comment, I’ll say physical beauty is relative to the person and most “evolved” men are looking for much more than just a pretty face and a size 0 body…myself included)

I’ve always prided myself on being a decent guy who treats others with respect but I’m always worried it will lump me in to the “Nice Guy” category which is the kiss of death in dating. The biggest problem with the Nice Guy tag is how it’s become synonymous for boring. The reality is treating other people with respect has nothing to do with being boring (it’s a totally different trait) but most people mistake decency for weakness (again…another totally different trait). Of course, the media perpetuates the misclassification with articles like this one with a clingy, needy guy who is or isn’t a nice person…yet they call him Mr. Nice Guy.

As you’re probably noticing, this topic elicits a strong reaction because I’m tired of being lumped into this category because I treat people with respect. I’m not discouraged because I know there are women out there who want to be treated with respect and as an equal. Of course, none of them appear to live anywhere near Charlotte so maybe it’s time to take my show on the road?

My friend V keeps telling me to make the trip to LA as I’d be the catch of the day. I’ve always laughed it off but maybe there's something to it? I was surfing channels the other night and came across “Millionaire Matchmaker” on Bravo (curse cable for giving me 40 channels to choose from after a life with no cable) featuring a social party for singles in Hollywood. My curiosity got the best of me and I watched a few minutes. I was totally shocked…even rich people are socially inept like me and have trouble meeting people! OMG…what happened to money making everyone beautiful?

I was especially interested to see one millionaire mention he didn’t want a woman over 35 only to see him chat up a very nice 45 yr old woman with obvious signs of interest. I didn’t hang out for the end of the show but the host commented on how he’d probably drop her when he found out her age. I’m thinking he’s 45 and never married so maybe he better get past himself. He may own a hotel and be rich but he’s still an ass. Of course, he’ll probably still do well because being an ass is better than being a nice guy any day of the week in the dating game as far as I can tell.

I’m seriously thinking LA may be my best chance because I’m not looking for 22 and perfect…I’m looking for 32-42 yrs old and normal! Marianne Sierk once commented about her lack of dating success in LA because she was over 30 and a size 6 so I decided to check her web page to see what is “undateable” in LA:



Seriously, book my trip right now! She’s not only attractive but funny, witty and personable. If you happen to read this Marianne, I’ll definitely buy you a loaf of bread if we run into each other at the grocery store…thanks for the best pick up line ever ; ) For more Marianne, check out her series on Bud TV…very funny.

I don’t want anyone to get the idea that all women are attracted to jerks (most women who’ve had serious, long-term relationships are looking for decent guys…they married the jerks first time around!) but you have to admit the cocky, jerk guys seem to have the most immediate success. The few times I’ve employed this approach it’s been met with ridiculous levels of success so maybe nice guys do finish last? Maybe so but I’ll be at the end of the line waiting for the last of the nice girls…we’ll be a perfect match.