It’s not you…It’s me

Most of us have heard (at some point in our romantic lives) the classic “It’s not you…It’s me”. I’d usually call out this falsehood with great quickness and stinging rebuff but what happens when it’s true?

The Fish Experiment continues but to date have only corresponded with one person. I’ve had several very good conversations and today was the first in-person meeting. I’d seen a photo but sometimes results vary which means what you see in the photo is not always what walks up to say hello. In this case, there was truth in advertising so off to a good start.

Let me start by saying there is nothing wrong with her…she’s witty, charming and educated. The conversation went well (at least I think it did) so guess my social awkwardness was taking the day off. After the meeting, it was time for post-game analysis…also known as “over-thinking everything with a healthy dose of self-doubt and confusion for good measure”. Being 50 miles from home, I knew it would be a long ride home.

I’ve never professed any real insight into anything of substance (especially relationships) but guess I expected to feel something beyond just conversation with a potential friend. I’m not talking about love at first sight but something like the slightly anxious feeling when you don’t want to say the wrong thing or finding yourself laughing for no good reason. Maybe I’ve been out of the game too long and my senses are off? Of course, I mistook acid reflux for true love and it took me 9.5 years to figure it out so not sure time off has anything to do with it!

In a most unexpected move, I’m looking for advice (Good lord, I must be desperate to ask this group : ) so add a comment letting me know how you knew your significant other was “the one”. Did you know right away or was it later? I’m especially interested in hearing from those divorced as I’m interested to know about people’s experiences the second time around. My own journey has given me more questions than answers so it’s me…really, it’s all me.